You And Me

Dosti, Friendship

2009-08-01T12:51:00.003+08:00

Well i must say im really giving up in the idea of knowing new friends or making new friends. That process is easy but when you consider the aspect of broken friendship, now that is indeed something else, something harder to swallow, something your heart cant accept, not even in the long run.

Yea i have had many broken friendship in the past. No wait, i still am getting it i think. As much as it is suppose to make me feel even more numb to the fact that it keeps on happening, no im not getting more numb. Im actually getting more hurt. More wound in the heart. A wound on top of a scar hurts a hell lot more than just a wound.

It is kind of amazing that how some can be so envious at the thought of the magnitude of my friends. Why should it be that case? Im a whole lot happier with a small bunch of people that makes my life worth living, that makes me push on no matter how badly i just wanna fall flat and not rise up again.

-Credit to wani

"True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and choice."
- Samuel Johnston

Below is a hindi song a very old song. The movie is about a guy who was betrayed by his friend over a girl. Yes friends can do that to you to. This is the lyric and for those non-Indians, i have the translated version of the lyrics below.

Dost dost na raha, pyaar pyaar na raha
Zindagi hamein tera aitbaar na raha
Aitbaar na raha

Amaanatein main pyaar ki gaya tha jisko saunpkar
Woh mere dost tumhi the, tumhi toh the
Jo zindagi ki raah mein bane the mere hamsafar
Woh mere dost tumhi the, tumhi toh the
Saare bhed khul gaye, raazdaar na raha

Zindagi hamein tera aitbaar na raha
Aitbaar na raha

Gale lagi sahem sahem bhare gale se bolti
Voh tum na thi toh kaun tha, tumhi toh thi
Safar ke waqt mein palak pe motiyon ko tolti
Woh tum na thi toh kaun tha, tumhi toh thi

Nashe ki raat dhal gayi, ab khumaar na raha
Zindagi hamein tera aitbaar na raha
Aitbaar na raha

Dost dost na raha, pyaar pyaar na raha
Zindagi hamein tera aitbaar na raha
Aitbaar na raha

Translation

Friend didnt remain a friend, love didnt remain a love
Life, I no longer trust you
No longer trust you

The person to whom I had entrusted my love
Was you, my friend
The one who had become my fellow traveler in life
Was you, my friend
All the secrets are exposed, the one I trusted is no longer there

Life, I no longer trust you
No longer trust you

Embracing me with fear and a choked voice
If not you, then who was it? It was you
At the time of my leaving, the one who shed tears like pearls
If that wasnt you then who was it? It was you

The night of intoxication is over, Ive come to my senses
Life, I no longer trust you
No longer trust you

Friend didn't remain a friend, love didn't remain a love
Life, I no longer trust you No longer trust you

"Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods."
- Artistotle

2009-05-29T23:34:00.002+08:00

Found this old poem in my harddisk.
Went wow when i read it.
lol

I wrote it.
I called it Senseless

Withered away in this cold empty room,
I feel all alone and lonely.
A dream that seems a touch from reality,
In truth was further than it seems.
As life mercilessly slapped me hard,
Awakened i was in realism.
Pierced by a bullet with my name,
My heart never really recovered.
In anarchy is my life,
Leading nothing but a never ending misery.
Wayward in disbelief,
My cold heart beats in me,
Senseless i was,
Blinded i was.
Tear me apart,
For this dream aint a reality.
I aint a juggernaut,
That keeps on going with numbness in my veins.
A lost hope,
Is all i have left.
Wonder what will tomorrow bring,
Smile, tears, heartache or pain.
Or worse,
A tomorrow that may not be.

How will my tomorrow be like?
Shades of this?
Profound beauty.

Heh.nice?

2009-05-24T20:23:00.003+08:00

Our lives are like candle in the wind - Carl Sandburg

Found this quote in the net. Sums a whole lot about our life. Being fragile and vulnerable to anything at all. And like with a gust of the wind, that candle flame will be gone. So to our life. With a blink of an eye, it may be taken away from us. Our soul. Our love. Our life.

Life is like an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep - Carl Sandburg

Another one from Carl Sandburg.The different layers are like the different days we go through. Every day a new layer. Every day a new experience. An sometimes, the experience we go through brings sorrow or happyness. But fret not, cause this is life. Once that layer is shed, a new layer will be shown. Another new experience. That could be joyful and blissful.

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live - Dorothy Thompson

Living in fear is not living at all. We refrain and restraint ourselves from doing and experiencing some things that we often want to do but is afraid to do maybe due to its consequences. We live only once and when the opportunity passes up, there is no turning back from it and we may regret not doing the things we wanted to do out of fear. When we regret, we are not living. When we live in fear. We are not living.

That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet - Emily Dickinson

There, we live only once in this world. There are no second chances for us to anything that we pass up. What makes it so sweet is that the things u do are only once and its one that u can savour for u know it will never come again.

The opposites of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.
The opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.

-Elie Wiesel

So what is the indifference?

Indifference in thoughts :)

2009-05-16T01:50:00.002+08:00

Consider me dead, people.
Not the blog.
Me.

Mood - Sad, heartpain
Feeling - Unappreciated
Therefore, Mood + Feeling = Asking someone to kill me so it'll be homicide and not suicide.
-_-"

I didnt want to drag it but i cant just let it go apparently.
Hurt.
It didnt bother you apparently.
How i felt.
All you wanted was the questions answered.
What happens after that, you dont even care.
In fact, you werent even happy.
Wow.
Everything for you.
Gave in to your stubbornness.
And you still not happy?

And why am i ranting here when i know you have my link?
Cause i doubt that u read this blog anymore.
I doubt that you care.
This entry might hurt u too.
But this is how im feeling right now.
Give me a day or two.
Hopefully i'll be fine.
Just so you know you really did the damage just now.
You really did.

Friendship.
One word with strong values.
A pillar of strength to those who has it.

Yet the word seems overlooked.
Most often than not.

I want my friendship with you.
And i want you to respect my decisions at times.

Too much of an ask?
I dont think so.
Do you?

At 9.5

2009-04-26T14:25:00.002+08:00

Those eyes...
Sparkling and surreal..
A beautiful attraction..
That stood out from the crowd...

Haha..Everyone knows i have a soft spot for gorgeous looking eyes that can just melt my heart..
And i think i found someone who possesses those eyes.

Gleeful grin...
:D :D :D

Ahh you'll be my jail and i'll be your prisoner..
Sentence me to life imprisonment..
For i would kill to see those eyes over and over again..

*Above cloud nine..Currently at 9.5...lol*

Importance

2009-04-19T16:53:00.002+08:00

Things has changed. Alot.

And yes no matter how much one mention how important i am to them, it doesnt mean anything at all to me. Like Nadirah J. will say, Tak mati kalau tak jumpa.

So if the other party doesnt give a two hoots about it, so will i.

Yes of course its disappointing to realise the fact that one who used to be so close has now distance away. Away from this once called comfort zone. Away from this once called closed one.

Yes it was surprising as to how it all went oh so fine. But i guess every start has an end to it dont it?

I guess i'm just a piece of non-reusable item that once used will be thrown aside. Heck caring feelings involved.

What's important is i still haf my social circle and that i dont have to depend on You when i need someone. I have true friends. As for you, im not sure. By the looks of things, its going down to the path way below the term friendship.

And the only person that can save it is you.

Its all up to you.

PS: I guess im not that important anymore

Shits

2009-04-09T23:20:00.002+08:00

A smile doesnt mean im contented.
A laughter doesnt mean im happy.
I smile to make others smile
I laugh to make others laugh.

Beneath this smile, beneath the laughter, nobody knows.

The thousand knifes that cuts through the heart.
The tears it cries.
The sorrow it goes through.

Lost.
Confused.

An external wound heals.
An internal wound.
Stays there and cuts open with any remembrance.
Like hot knife through butter.
It never heals.

I HATE YOU.
BUT I LOVE YOU.

I WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE.
BUT I WANT U CLOSE TO ME.

I WANT TO FORGET YOU.
BUT I KNOW I DONT WISH TO.

I WANT YOU IN MY LIFE.
BUT I KNOW ITS PAST ALL THAT.

When u choose to come to my life, dont ever leave it.
They say its all part of life
To learn from it.
Yes im learning.
Much.

So anyone who has that thought of leaving..
I aint gonna beg you to stay.
Neither do i want you to leave.
Cause you all make up my life.

I have enough of Goodbyes.
And i have enough of people finding me only when they need me.
And when they dont, dump me aside like im some sort of garbage.

I have feelings too.
And at times i need You guys.

Dont treat me this way.
It hurts.

Heart beyond repair
My life treated like a funfair
My thoughts no one would spare
Alas, there's nothing else i can bare

Take me away, away, away into the far away away away land.

Blood Hunters Promo

2009-04-07T23:40:00.005+08:00

Ever experienced the unknown?

The supernatural?

Doubt their existence?

Ever had that tiniest feeling of wanting to see them?

Curious of how they look like?

Whether those Tales you heard are true?

Or just plain stories?

Be part of Us.

Experience events beyond your wildest imagination.

See through your own eyes

No story-telling.

No catch.

Reality of the unknowns.

No tricks.

No gimmicks.

Get a dosage of the supernatural.

Right in front of your eyes.

Blood Hunters ARE RECRUITING.

Terms and conditions apply.

While stocks last(heh).

PS: Not for the faint hearted.

Barking at the wrong tree

2009-03-15T21:37:00.004+08:00

4-1.

And every Scousers in the world celebrated like they just won the league.
Hah how pathetic.

Unfortunately for them, being the fools that they are, they do not realise the fact that they're still what, 3rd? And have been in the shadows of Man United ever since the beginning of the Premier League era.

A win at Old Trafford, a double over us after i dont remember how long ago and they start talking. Well here's the news Liverfools fans, where was all that before this? I only hear the silence of a soon to be dead Club which depends far too much on Gerrard-Torres. Take away this two and what do you get? Bunch of losers who dont have the ounce of strength to battle for a victory.

4-1 and the head's gone up.

United fans being too arrogant?hah! why wont we?We have one of the best squads in the world.

Why wouldnt we?
Champions of Europe, England and the World.

Has Liverfool ever completed a treble? No.

U take one game and u take is as your season. Rubbish.

A season has 38 games.

Champions are not made in a day. It takes years and you can see that in the United Squad.

4-1 is a mere setback.

And to all those Scousers fans,

A game doesnt make u a champion. Beating the champion doesnt make u a champion.

A champion needs winners. A squad with depth and quality to last the whole pace of the season.So if you're thinking of shooting down us United fans, take a good look at the Premier League history for that matter. How u have disappeared into the background and let United in and staying in the foreground. Comparing the likes of goals from previous era wont make u champions. Cause as far as i recall, United won the league that year too?

And how often do you see United coming into full gear late in the season and after a loss especially of this magnitude.

Fear us scousers. Fear us.

PS: Us talking big?Who's doing the talking now? Us sore losers? Look back at the match last season when Mascherano got sent off? Who did all the talkin about how unfair the sent off was? Did u hear a United fan sayin the Vidic's sent off was debatable?None. Every great player has an off day. Every club suffers a setback. The Greats dont bark after a victory like you Scousers. Made a fool? Doubt that. You were the fools to beat us at our fortress.

Fear us Scousers. Fear us.

And did i just hear a Scouser comparing us to Chelsea. Hint hint. Remember Mourinho's era? Sore loser much werent they? And now just cause they disappeared out which is why you dont hear them be crying over losses. See the whole picture you Scouser idiots.

Fear us Scousers. Fear us.

To whom it may concern

2009-03-12T18:06:00.005+08:00

Well well well..

I have changed huh? I'm not the guy i used to be issit?The nice guy you used to know?

Wow real nice.

First of all thank you very much for commending how nice i was being and such.

But honestly, nice-ness wont get you anywhere. Nowhere at all.

Broken friendship?

The only reason it is broken is because u made it that way. Yes you. Why is that? Cause your negativity got the better of you. Your insecureness. Misquoting and misunderstanding every of my actions and words.

And ask yourself. Have you really been there for me? I don't really care much about that but the question i really am asking you is. Have you ever listened to me?

No. A categorical No. Whenever i advised, you'll go on and on about how people dont understand you on what you're going through. For heaven's sake stop whining. Stop every single thing you're doing and just listen. Listen and listen good. You'll never know what those advises will lead to. Stop countering every single thing. Stop being too dependent on people and go all emo and negative just when no one pays attention to you. Grow up. You're how old already. Be independant. Stop referring every single problem you're going through to your family background about how shitty it is and how you wished everything was different

It is already made that way. Live with it. Yes you can go on ranting how life is unfair and whatever nots but not everyday or every single time you're having probs.

You said you made efforts? Yes you do. Its just that it has always been at the wrong time. When im busy or just got home. Understand that. We did talked on the fone for hours that time didnt we? You didnt rmbr that. You didnt remember how happy you were and sounded. Laughing and such. Did you remember all that when you sent that msg to me?Blaming me on how i've changed and where u stand in my life?

Wow much.

"Now i know where i stand in your life"

Yea that exact sentence, just killed off the friendship. I did not do it. You did.

I have a feeling ever since we kinda drifted you've been looking for an opportunity to make me look as though im the one at fault and perhaps this was the best chance you could.

Well congratulations on achieving half your aim.

And just for your info, like what i sent u, this isnt goodbye.

This is to knock some sense into you. Wake up. Life has never been a bed of roses. No one said it would be smooth sailing.

But God's fair. He only test you till your limit.

Behind this sorrows of life, lies a wealth of happiness.

If you're not experiencing it now, then maybe later. You're only that age. You still got a long way to go. Even lifes has tides.

I really do hope you really start growing up before its too late.

All about Irfan

2009-03-08T14:34:00.000+08:00

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

The Hidden Meaning in Names

Type any name such as your name, street, country, company, school, band, brand, etc. Press Continue to reveal the hidden meaning of it.
Name: Irfan
Keywords

* Creating
* Self-expression
* Joy-bringer
* Happiness
* Enjoyment of life
* Fun
* Charm
* Communication
* Emotions
* Enthusiastic
* Imaginative
* Inspirational
* Gift of words
* Optimism
* Friendships
* Openness

If your birthday is on the 1st day of the month
You are very curious and dedicative. When you are interested in something, everything else has to wait. This is your quality. But if you learn to be more patient and complete what you have started, you will be successful in life.

Your Love
You believe in love at first sight. You won't wait to learn more about the person. People who fail to impress you will hardly get a chance to be your friend. Your emotion is on the extreme. You can only love or hate, nothing in between and this often shows in your expression. Try not to end a relationship in a quarrel.

Camelia

2009-02-27T22:19:00.000+08:00

Camelia - Irwansyah

Camelia maafkanlah aku
Karena ku tak bisa temani tidurmu
Camelia lupakanlah aku
Jangan pernah lagi kau temui aku

Kau wanita terhebat
Yang pernah singgah di hatiku
Kau wanita yang tegar
Aku mohon lupakanlah aku

*
Sudahlah jangan menangis lagi
Ku rasa cukup sampai di sini
Mungkin di suatu saat nanti
Kau temui cinta yang sejati

**
Sudah cepat lupakanlah aku
Jangan pernah ungkit masa lalu
Ku takut kekasihku pun tahu
Kau pernah menjadi simpananku

Camelia...

Kau wanita terhebat
Yang pernah singgah di hatiku

Back to *,**

Back to **

Countdown to 19

2009-02-25T22:47:00.003+08:00

And so based on the date, its like 4 more days. Cool kape..

Yes people you read it right. Im still just turning 19 and not some 20 odd age that some of you presumed i was before knowing me.haha

Well so far the days are going by somewhat alright. Had karaoke sessions on Monday with the Blood (featuring Muhammad Hafiz Bin Muhammad Salleh, Nadirah Bte Jamallodin, Muhammad Syazani Bin Abdul Jamil, Nur Azwani and Yours truly, Irfan Khan Bin Johan Khan Surattee). Awesomely fun with songs by artiste such as BSB, Bon Jovi and Blue and Malay titles such as Isabella, Embun and many2 more. A solid three hours of fun. I have not gotten the pics yet so no pics of that day.

Tuesday, spent with Elfie and Fafa to Vivo, Harbourfront. Naik bus 65 sampai pantat cramp sak. Thanks eh idea saper tuu..haha.

Oh and i need to find a job...Die coming soon holidae without cash equals to good game. Haha. Anyone with lobang?job lobang i mean.

So i guess thats about it. And all of a sudden i crave for belgian chocs thanx to a trip to candy empire. i want boxes of it..lots and lots and lots.

Any kind soul?hahaha :D

True much

2009-02-22T15:14:00.001+08:00

Since everyone is doing it, why not me?hahaha :)

Name: Irfan Khan
Date: 2/22/2009
Colorgenics Number: 32156740

You are tending to pursue your objectives with concentrated intensity and it would seem that whatever obstacles may come into your path, you will stick to your guns and will not allow yourself to be deflected from your purpose. You are striving to achieve recognition and what is more - you deserve it.

You are a very warm and emotional individual but unfortunately in the past too many people have taken advantage of this sensitive trait. You need aesthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm understanding.

The way things are at this time it is necessary to 'go slow'. All the pleasures that you have anticipated should be left in abeyance until some future date, but all is not lost, you are able to derive and achieve considerable gratification from someone quite close to you.

You are feeling full of uncertainty and worrying over what you consider as missed opportunities. This is causing considerable stress and tension. You feel that there must be more to life than the constant pressures and anxieties - that surely life must hold far more opportunities than that which it has to date presented to you. You sincerely believe that there must be a simpler way to tap life's hidden recourses and should you be able to find that way - you could achieve your hearts desire. It's the not knowing 'how' that is affording you the constant worry. You are constantly probing and seeking - trying to ensure that at all times you are on your guard against missing any opportunity. 'Enough is enough'. You are anxious to avoid further setbacks. You are strenuously trying to make sure that you will not be overlooked and you badly need security.

The fear that you may not be able to fulfil or realise all of your ambitions makes you work and play hard. The thought of being prevented from achieving the things you want leads you to play your part with frantic fervour.

Lately i feel like...

2009-02-16T23:38:00.003+08:00

Ok and i so have decided to update my blog.

First of all, i think i wanna address an issue which nad brought up not too long ago in her blog about the itas clan.Some of us may think our clan is depleting due to the lack of outings, meetings, chill session and wadever nots. You people may feel that the bond is no longer there. Like we aint one big family no more.

From my point of view, yes we may not be meeting much partly due to a change in our lifestyle, schedule, workloads or whatever. But lets look back. Everytime we do meet up, that 'gap' that existed before, i dont quite think anyone felt it. And if so, i think it brought about positive vibes as we let go that 'missing' feel in us, the same jokes, reminiscing the past, cracking up like there's no tomorrow never wanting the day/night to end.

So how can we be falling apart? How can we let distance break our bond? How can we let this change affect the way we were.

People change i agree much. But i got to disagree that changes break a bond. No not in a family.

And we are a family. We are not breaking apart.

Not back then.

Not now.

Not in the future.

Cause a family stays together.

In good times and bad.

There i let it out on this matter.

On another note, been hanging out much with the usual 3 plus on some occasion the inclusion of Syaz. The three includes Hafiz, Nad and Wani.From chill out sessions in Simei to Misteri Jam 12 on the radio while conferencing every Thurs Nite (Yes Malam Jumaat), it had been fun.

Ghost story telling and past experiences shared just now while chilling at Hafiz's Condo Swimming Pool area. With the fact knowing that someone drank milk from a bottle till the age of 10!hahaha! funny shits.

Starbucks, KFC, Banquet, Void Deck practically every weekday nites.The sad part is all three is graduating this coming april. How time flies.

I AM SO NOT READY.

Cherishing all these meetings. Every single moment of it.

And just for fun, here's a pic of me posing on Hafiz's bike to end the entry. Till next time:)

Amcm kene tak?

ahaha mind the face

trying to stop myself from laughing due to hafiz's antics

REMPITTTTTTTTT..

hahahahah! :D

award ceremony

2009-02-07T00:22:00.005+08:00

ATTENTION READERS!!

WELCOME TO THE BEST PICTURE AWARD

WE HAVE THREE WINNERS TONIGHT

FIRSTLY....

PLEASE PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER
AND WELCOME.....

THE UPCOMING...

MINAH REMPITTTT....

NADIRAH BTE JAMALODDIN
*Applause*

AND SECONDLY..
THE EVER FUNNY GUY..
OUR FUNNY MANNN.....

WE CALL HIM PELESIT-MAN

HAFIZ BIN SALLEH
*applause*

TRYIN HIS NEW GLASSES MAYBE?

FRESH AIR IS GOOD FOR SLP YOU KNOW..KEKEKEKE

AND A SENONOH PIC OF HIM FINALLY :d

And finally...

My 'vain' yet sweet adek..

Shirin Bte Sidek
*applause*

kan vain tuuu?hahahah

Ok and so nad,apiz n rin will definitely be going to kill me for the above..nyahahaha..heckkk..
Spent thursday with hafiz,nad and syaz at coffee bean tamp but before that it was the usual at itas. I coming back from my minor op and illness with a week of mc but since i felt better and i hate the thought of hibernation at home for another day headed to school. It was dull at first to be honest. (hasnt itas been that way since lately)

Nad and apiz came later and i felt so much better with their company( I swear the only one who wouldnt are ummm those admitted in IMH)..or wait maybe i think they do need a dosage of us to be perfectly fine again..hahaha

That was thursday.

Today was with syaz,hatt,wafa 'perut', shikah and hadi back to tha hoods again. Chilled till the nite.( Me,syaz and hatt and hatt friend only left that is)..As usual. Nonsense jokes and teasingggg...haaaaaaa

Oh and my headache is still killinggg...Shoot me...*BANG*

Ah some overdued scenery pics..hahah..nah amek laaaa....

Amphitheatre

East Coast Park
Amphitheatre Part 2

New Layout

2009-02-02T00:26:00.004+08:00

Ok so i decided to change my layout.
Was really being fickle about the template i wanted to use.
Needed the recommendation of fafa,shirin and fana na na na..

So i came to thisss...Did a little bit of altering here and there. And this is the final result..so Yippee yay moi..haha

Im in the mood for dancer-able songs today prolly due to miss sadrina and miss chanelle. Thanks ar korang! i dance dance now mabok ady..nabeyy tut..hahaha!

So school tomorrow at 9am. Woah early again. 2 more weeks to study break i think? For my case, 2 more weeks to probably end of my year 2 and i'll be a senior then. Holly shit!

Nyeh not like not used being a senior but i have to say its a bit too early. ITAS has changed alot ever since Nad and Apiz got bz with SIP and MP. Its not the usual hoohah there with many new faces and the feeling of being looked at whenever we walked around ITAS. Yes true much Apiz is in TP but he's busy with his major project so i cant kacau him. I wanna see him graduate with Nad too. And let them move on from TP and into the working an NS life.

I've bee coping i guess and Apiz and Nad are really helping by constantly coming to ITAS to visit. Thanks so much guys.

Projects have been a killa nowadaes considering we do not have main examinations unless we fail and have to take SUPP.. SO SCREW the TERM EXAMINATION..hahah..

Oh but i do have tests. OTCM and other lab tests.

I cant wait for the end of school term/semester and get ready for my plan to have total freedom*those who noe will noe*

hahaiii..

Oh and i miss two person in my life..One is still in it. The other is not..bleargh. I hate the thought of it.

Push me away..

And sorry i haven been replying tags..i'll reply the new ones from now onwards. And i've re-linked most of you :D

Sekian(sounds so malay syarahan like).
hahah!

Your call

2009-01-29T00:05:00.004+08:00

A call.
Somewhere around 3+am.
Left me awake for the rest of the night.
Till dawn breaks.

A call.
That leaves my thoughts lingering.
That left my heart beating.
Leaving me sweating.

A call.
I've always hoped of receiving.
Left me clueless.
Of the current state of your mind.

A call.
Picked up as quickly as i could.
Only for my voice.
To refrain me from hearing yours.

A call.
Hunged up.
Unanswered.
Unreplied.

A call.
Back to you.
Was greeted with dismay.
Of my lonesome self.

A call.
Was all it takes.
To set my mind running.
With a thousand questions.

A call.
Was all it takes.
To make my heart beat.
A thousand mile.

A call.
That one call.
In the heat of the night.
Changed my day.

A call.
Your call.
Takes only a moment.
But it will change my life.

Forever again.

Posting

2009-01-17T12:08:00.005+08:00

I found this while viewing haliim's and alia's blog so since im bored this saturday morning(noon is still morning to me) i shall do this.

001. Real name → Irfan Khan Bin Johan Khan Surattee (I really have a long name)
002. Nickname(s)→ Fan, FanFan, Fafan, Cow, Lembu (aku yg kurus2 nie dipanggil lembu siaa :S)
003. Star sign → Pisces
004. Male or female → Male
005. Elementary → Park View Pri then to Fengshan Pri (one of those lucky few to have 2 sets of pri sch frens..haha)
006. Middle School → Bedok View Sec
007. High School → Temasek Poly
008. Hair color → Fading Brown
009. Long or short → Medium length?
010. Loud or Quiet → Loud at times, Quiet too? Im a shy person okayyy!
011. Sweats or Jeans → Jeans
012. Phone or Camera → An 8mp Camera Fone pls? But viewty's alrite!
013. Health freak → A meal a day now most of the time. Im a cow rmbr? FAT!
014. Drink or Smoke? → Yes
015. Do you have a crush on someone? → You know i know :D
016. Eat or Drink → Redbull for the win! Drink that and u can flyyy and u dont have to eatttt
017. Piercings → My dirty little secretttttt...haha no lar..no piercingg
018. Tattoos → Nada

HAVE YOU EVER?
019. Been in an airplane→ Yes. Not lately though
020. Been in a relationship → Yes but never felt like in one
021. Been in a car accident → Yups
022. Been in a fist fight → Haha always? but not lately.

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → None laaaaaaaa
024. First best friend → Honestly Roszana.
025. First award → Haha gotten third in Long Jump in Pri 3. Used to be an athlete in my first pri school. Long jumps, high jumps, hurdles..
026. First crush → Hahaha Fengshan ppl would know. Suker korang kacau. Raudah laaa..lol
028. First vacation → I would say definitely malaysia before venturing elsewhere

LASTS:
029. Last person you talked to → ALOT. Aida, Nanad, Apiz, Noorie, Shaf, Shirin, Nurul, Syaz, Hattri
030. Last person you texted → Apiz bff :D
031. Last person(s) you watched a movie with → Kiwak lamer siaaa.. Nufa i think
032. Last food you ate → Just! Laksa! Yums Yums
033. Last movie you watched → I cant remember thoughhhhh
034. Last song you listened to → Fall For You - Secondhand Serenade *winks*
035. Last thing you bought → Umm iced ovaltine for lil sister?hahaha!
036. Last person you hugged → Noorie Aljufry :)

FAVES:
037. Food → Used to be a food maniac. But for now, anything that pleases my eyes :D
038. Drinks → Iced milo, Bandung, Coke, Juices, Redbull!
039. Clothing → Anything comfy and/or presentable
040. Books → Sadly i dont read much
041. Music → Depends on the mood of the day really
042. Flower → Purple Rose
043. Colors → Black, Purple, Red and lime green
044. Movies → Star Wars, Blood Diamond, Harry Potter, Resident Evil etc2
045. Positions → Apa position siaaaaaaaa????
046. Subjects → As much as the way i speak dont show it, i gotta to say languages

IN 2008...I
047. [ ] kissed in the snow
048. [] celebrated Halloween (noorie wanted me to come as Long John Silver cos i was limping cos of soccer..tssk)
049. [x] had your heart broken ( a plentyyy)
050. [x] went over the minutes on your cell phone
051. [] someone questioned your sexual orientation
052. [x] came out of the closet(kecoh ah sembunyi dlm almarii)
053. [ ] gotten pregnant
054. [ ] had an abortion
055. [] done something you've regretted
056. [] broke a promise
057. [x] hid a secret
058. [x] pretended to be happy
059. [x] met someone who changed your life
060. [x] pretended to be sick
061. [x] left the country
062. [x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
063. [x] cried over the silliest thing
064. [ ] ran a mile
065. [x] went to the beach with your best friend(s)
066. [x] stay single the whole year (I DID!!!WOOOO!)

CURRENTLY:
067. Eating → Nada!
068. Drinking → Ziltch!
069. I'm about to → Bath i think?lol
070. Listening to → Metallica - Turn the Page
071. Plans for today → Noooooo ideaaaaaaaa
072. Waiting for → YOUUUUUUUUU(sounds so Soulja Boy..haha)

YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want kids? → YES PLEASEEEEEE
074. Want to get married? → HAHA!!GO ASK MY MUM..And everyone is sayin i'll marry first..TSKKK
075. Careers in mind → Army?Computer Security Person?Network Admin?NTahhhhhhhh

WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
076. Lips or eyes → EYESSSSSS!!!Damn! *Melts*
077. Shorter or taller? → Either :)
078. Romantic or spontaneous → Both!
079. Nice stomach or nice arms → Haha depends
080. Sensitive or loud → Not that sensitive but definitely frenly :)
081. Hook-up or relationship → No more hok up pls? R/ship :)
082. Trouble-maker or hesitant → Trouble Maker with limits and style..hahah!

HAVE YOU EVER:
083. Lost glasses/contacts → Yups
084. Ran away from home → Had thoughts of it. But its stupiak i noe
085. Hold a gun/knife for self defense → Knife yes
086. Killed somebody → NOOOOOO. Im a nice person!
087. Broken someone's heart → I guess when im younger yes. In 2008, no.
088. Been arrested → It wasnt realie much of an arrest. Some questioning..Yada Yada
089. Cried when someone died → uhhh ntah eh?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090. Yourself → Sometimes
091. Miracles → Yes
092. Love at first sight → Not entirely
093. Heaven → Jyeah
094. Santa Claus → No longer 'cause he forgot me last christmass :(
095. Sex on the first date → *kening naik2* haha noooooooo...so cheapppp
096. Kiss on the first date → Haha what do ya'll think?

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → One and only i want to be with forever
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? → No, Singapore's too stressful. But that's where i met youuuuu...
099. Do you believe in God → A million times yes. A definite yes
100. This is the 100th and last.

All or nothing

2009-01-14T22:01:00.001+08:00

ALL OR NOTHING - O-Town

I know when he's been on your mind
That distant look is in your eyes
I thought with time you'd realize it's over, over
It's not the way I choose to live
And something somewhere's gotta give
A share in this relationship gets older, older

You know I'd fight for you but how could I fight
someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you now I want the best of
you I don't care if that's not fair

Cuz I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all

There are time it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart but I don't show it , show it
Then there's times you look at me
As thought I'm all that you could see
Those times I don't believe it's right I know it , know it

Don't make me promises baby you never did
know how to keep them well
I had the rest of you now I want the best
of you it's time to show and tell

Cuz I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all

Cuz you and I
Could lose it all if you've got no more room
Nowhere inside for me in your life

Cuz I want it all
Or Nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
It's now or never

Is it all
Or Nothing at all
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all

2009

2008-12-31T23:15:00.003+08:00

2008. Goodbye.
Kiss it goodbye.
What is left are just memories.
Good and bad times.
Etched in our memories for as long as our memory can take.
Felt in our every heartbeat till the day we stop breathing.
One year has left us.
In a blink of an eye too.
I would love to say that my 2008 has been the greatest year.
However, i will have to beg to differ.
Nonetheless, it has its moments.
Of ups and downs.
Cherishing the ups.
Learning from the downs.
'Cause every year is a learning process.
Making us.
Breaking us.
Maturing us.
In every way.
That may not seem obvious now.
But perhaps when we grow older.
So much so.
Reflecting back on 2008.
It ended better than 2007.
Started better than 2007.
Made new friends.
Got close to some current friends.
Bonded.
Yet, with this bond.
Lies a chance.
A chance to be broken.
With every relationship/friendship.
Deception, Backstabbing, Lack of Trust, Fights.
Likely to occur.
Lesson learnt.
Another lesson learnt.
Its not about how many times we spent with each other.
But what we do during the times together.
Food for thought.
Adding on,
Towards the end,
Gotten to know a certain someone.
Changed my world.
Change my thoughts.
Change the way i lead my life.
A new purpose.
A new goal.
One that im looking forward to achieve come 2009.
Possibilities.

2009. Embrace it.
A new year.
A whole new range of possibilities.
Final year in poly coming shortly.
Focus.
At the same time.
I'll pursue my purpose in life too.
Both as important.
Both determines my future.
Both may and should change my future.
As the clock striked 12:00am(00:00),
The New Year has begun.
My dear Twin Sister asked me this earlier.
So whats my resolution?
My answer.
I aint got one.
Shocked much?
Yes 'cause i would prefer to call it goals
And for me, it comes along as the day goes by.
Not planned.
Whats the difference between goals and resolution?
Goals.
If u achieve it, u'll feel the satisfaction.
Resolution.
You'll be pressured to accomplished your resolution and thus wont lead life as it comes by.
The littlest thing would be ignored.
And some times.
This littlest things are the hardest to come by.
And the most we should cherish.
Somewhat like a shooting star.

Happy New Year :)

A New Year.
A New Beginning.
Leave the past and move on to the future.
Learning from the past.
Not repeating the same mistakes.
As i always said.
Fret the past and your future will be gone.

With that.
I wish all my dear readers.
A very Happy 2009.
Have a blessed year ahead.
Take everything a step at a time.
Wish you all the best in what your future lies ahead.
For those who have distant themselves from the right track.
I'll pray and we'll hope together.
That you'll find the right direction this year.
And for those who have been heading in the right direction.
I'll pray and we'll hope together.
That you'll continue that way.
Insyallah. With God's grace :)

Names of those who made my 2008 a great year:
Hafiz Salleh,
Nadirah Jamallodin,
Syahirah Jalil,
Sharifah Noor Aljufry(Noorie),
Aida Raihana,
Farid Pagi,
Sarah Atan,
Alia Fadia,
Shirin Sidek,
Muhammad Syazani,
Henna Ansar,
Elfie,
Faezah Aziz,
Zubaidah Noor and her Sister,
Afiqah,
Shafeeka,
Ruzainah Hussain

And again.
A very Happy New Year.

Happie 15th birthday to my little sister

2008-12-21T14:58:00.003+08:00

Ok so this entry will be dedicated to my little sister, Shirin who is celebrating her 15th birthday today.

Shirin.

This young girl here is my dear little sister.
Well we aint really blood siblings but i have considered her to be my own little sister whom i treat so dearly.
It was 2 yrs ago since we met each other and you becoming my little sister.
You were just going on 13(considering your birthday is in december so technically speaking you're just 12 when you're in sec1).
We aint really that close at that point of time.
Only starting to.
And i recalled the time when you avoided me due to the rumours of me liking you(i've cleared this out with you).
And who would have thought at that point of time i would be seeing you grow from childish, playful, rough shirin to what we have now,
A very matured, pretty, sweet, adorable and almost turning ladylike Shirin.

2007 i think.

Last friday.
19th December 2008

See look at how much you've changed in a matter of a year.
And look at how MUCH i've changed too.
God i look so kental in the first pic!
haha
(back to serious mode)

2years flew past just like that.
Yet i am happy that we are not affected by the distance ever since i graduated for bvss though we dont really meet that often but we still took time out from our busy life to catch up with one another.
Very much happy.

Last but not least.
A very happy birthday to you Shirin.
Well to be honest, i have not gotten you a present.
You should know how tight my budget is now with my driving practicals all.
For now, all i can give you is my prayers and well wishes of a happy and stressed-free life and all the best for your future endeavours especially your upcoming o levels
Play hard and study smart.
Give your fullest attention to it.
And if you do need help, i am always here to give what i can.
A year older means a year more experienced.
A year wiser.
A year smarter.

Again a very happy birthday.
With much love,
From your hard-to-be-sweet-and-romantic brother.
haha

PS: Love you my little sisterrr..
Ok da jangan kembang tau..

Of Fate, Endings and Congrats.

2008-12-07T23:10:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, fate can really play a game on you.
Somethings will either come back to haunt you or to take you by surprise be it negatively or positively.

No i am not talking about myself for this particular matter but in general.

How you may seem to be wanting to move away from a particular stuff or event only for it to come back to you sooner or later. At this circumstances, how would you react?
How would you welcome this turn around of events? Sure there are some things in life that you always wanted to be on repeats but i am not talking about repeats here. I am talking about a situation where you are trying to avoid a situation only for it to bring you closer to it.
How would you react on how fate plays its game?

Sounds awesome if its something positive aint it? What if its something negative? Shuddering at that thought? Yeah i thought so too.Keep pondering as to why this happen and you may just get an answer for your case.
As for me, I've yet to find my answer. Or to put it in a better light, I've not experience major karma just yet. But i am wishing something in the past to be experienced again. As such, i'll be waiting for the day fate plays its game on me. I'll be ready, hopefully.

On another note,

Everyone wants a storybook ending in their life with happy endings at the end but everyone knows life is so far from that. But as much as we know that that aint going to happen, life aint that cruel to not give us beautiful memories for us to look back and smile upon.
It is how we treat this moments that will affect our future.I've had many wonderful memories to be looked back with a smile but i do have a fair share of despairing memories that i will always wanna keep locked away in the tiny corner of my heart.

Yet as far as i am concerned, every bit of memories i forged is an experience gained. Life is a learning process you see. What has happened in the past has happened and if we were to only look back and cry and get hurt by it, we are for sure to waste our future.
Why? Cause we're using every bit of our present reminiscing and thinking about the past; why it happened and what if it didnt happened and all.
Yes its true its human to think of the past but not everyday not all the time. Sometimes you do need that moment to reminisce and think about the past but in a positive light. Not dread on it.

For this matter, a storybook ending in life is possible but only if we see things in a positive light. Optimism. That's the KEY word.

And on the whole new different matter,
Friday was a day well spent with Miss Noorie Aljufry. Came down earlier than expected to give my support to her. And met her family during her performance. Very friendly and sweet family she has. Just like her :)

And to you Miss Noorie,
Despite you not winning, I am still proud of you. Accepting defeat graciously and sportsman-like. That is very nice of you. You gave your best on that day and God has rewarded you with 2nd place. Alhamdulillah.
And im sure your parents are just as proud or maybe even more.

PS: Grabbed this from your facebook. haha cause it was from your cam so yeah.. haha :)

And yes from the pic i can tell why your youngest sister say i have mat friends. haha. Syaz biler ko jadi mat nie?kekeke..

The end.

Final Goodbye

2008-11-07T22:08:00.002+08:00

Ok its friday today. Not really a TGIF but it was alrite.

It started boring because i really didnt feel like waking up and all.. An added blow, my first lesson was super boring and i practically stoned for the whole 2hours. Heh talk about classes at 9am..duhh!

But it got better as the day went by. Watched Disturbia again with Alia on her lappie and she fucking got my Viewty!nb before me also. haha...tkpe2.. And we decided to give Nad and hafiz a call to tanye khabar. And hafiz informed us that he's coming to school. Talked about having a smile. I was super elated sia. So we waited for him at ITAS. Waited and waited and he came. WITH NAD!omg talk about a shockerrr. Really i missed them much. Hugs and all and i couldnt take it and i...*those there knew what happened so ssshhhhh*

Timely too..So we catched up and since its been a long time since we were together, we headed to amphitheatre. Talked about memories. Gosh i miss them muchosss.. Thanks for dropping by both of you. Much love. :)

On another note, i've came to a decision that i think i've never taken but im willing to risk it all for you. Just to show how much you actually means to me. Much pondering and thinking and lack of sleep and all. I hope its worth it. Insyallah. I leave it to God's hands now. We can only plan our actions. he will decide the consequences. And i think its time that i do something for the better.

And yes i know its a drastic change to what all you my frens have been used to. But i really want it and i hope you guys will support me and understand why im taking that action. Alrite? :)

And to someone that i believe still do read my blog, you need not worry or be curious about how i am now. You've decided to leave then by all means go. Its a hard fact to accept but as time goes by, the more mature i get, the more i wanna let go. But you suddenly coming into the picture when im almost on the verge of forgetting your existence is totally uncalled for. You wanna freshen up my wound? i believe so. But honestly, i don't give a two damn bit about it cos im through with that hope that you'll come back. So just leave and don't turn back. Its over now. You wanted that. I've been clinging but now, im through with you. Period.

PS: Thanks for the memories and thanks for the pain you've given me. Indeed you've made me more wiser and more mature in my thinking now. And if you're not gonna initiate the GOODBYE, I will. GOODBYE ROSZANA.

Goodbye.

*Don't fuck around just because the world fucks you upside down*

Awkward

2008-11-02T23:55:00.003+08:00

-editted-

One word..AWKWARD

Yes im feeling this awkward feeling even towards those im close with. Realie entirely different when u feel the awkwardness with those you're close with than the awkwardness with those you're not. You expected to be all yourself, high, nonsensical but sadly you're toned down, quiet and just hearing things out.

To lil rin, yeah i noe im at fault for blowing at you that time but hey you know me. I did ask for forgiveness. And tonite your chatting with me like im some stranger answering me with a word or just direct to the point. Where is the real you? This is so not you.

And it is even awkward for me to contact a certain someone. I don't know but I have a feeling at times i bug or irritate her with my sms or calls. God knows how i reached to this point which im not sure myself.

And yea basically like what i told nad.. Im tired of going through the same shit over and over and not move on from it. Its the same process over and over again with a small difference. I realie wana get through that phase and move on to another. I don't want new ones. Realie. Im through with that. Just one. Just this one. I wanna give it my all.

Im sure my blog is in a haphazard manner with thoughts not in order. I just wanna let it go. Let it out and all. Not to a person then maybe here.

To be the best you gotta go out and beat the best. Its all me and it always has been. I gotta keep myself in control of matters starting with this awkwardness.

Tomorrow shall be a better day.

I HOPE..

FPS RAYA

2008-10-13T14:30:00.006+08:00

Raya wif the FPS crew aka the Jiwa's feat Miss Noorie last friday and yeah we had lotsa funnn...it started a lil bit slow bt it got better through the nite..yeapz we are all late nite creatures who comes alive only at nite..

We managed to go say i guess 5 houses only i think but damn did we had fun. From us squeezing into a 5 seater car in the later part of the day to us aiming to finish the kuehs in every house. We made sure we finished atleast one bottle to camwhoring(duhh ader gals mesti kene camwhore wadd)..Not to mention waiting for noorie to get ready..lol..told her i'll leave house at 1.45..since she said she'll took abt 30mins at 1.30 i thought lawa-lawa ah sampai abeh dier pon ready..check2 she's all ready at 2.45...aisehh..haha bt nvm..she looked pretty :P

Ahh so i shall stop talking and let the pics do the bebualing(talking)..haha enjoyy...

At fajrina's house

Sikit peh formal kan..haha

Basket sia yann...hahah!Our photo studio at faj's house..

In the bus...

Couple for the day, helmi and yan
They alwaes together sia that day..
Talk about promoting gay-ism
lol

The trio,
Farhan,Faj,Ridwan

At ma crib's

Take 1 tak menjadi
Farhan's right eye cut off..
Kesian satu mata jer..

Take 2..
Better now :D

Aku sunggoh jelez la
Adek aku dapat dua2..
sheesh

In Faj's car..

Dad and mum for the day..
lol

Seems to be enjoying his time at the boot of the car..
Its a hunchback carr..
Lol

Sempit2 pon sempat posing siaaa

Semut masuk dlm diorg kot..

Erm no caption for this one..

Adi's crib

Aku lagi kene...
siakkk uhhh..lol
Tkpe2...

Wad raya is all about
Forgiveness seeking time..

There again..
PS:he cried after everyone mintak maaf laa...the guy in black..
he teared abit

The spirit of raya..After almost 5-6yrs of losing contact with him, we finallie see him again.. During the forgiveness part, it was realie kinda sad moment despite some laughters considering that we've not kept in touch for 5-6 years and imagine all the sins we've done when we knew each other. Never been seek to be asked for forgiveness.

:)

End...

Wishes

2008-10-09T00:10:00.003+08:00

HAPPIE BIRTHDAY TO...............

Nurul Syakinah
Who turns 18 today...
:)
Have a blissful year ahead
And may your wishes come true..
:)

ANDDDD....

Happie 1yr 9mths toooo......

To this gorgeous lady(cannot call gal ady..da 20..lol)
Who looks like daffy duck(she sae so)
My beautiful sister..
Henna Ansar..
Here, Now And Forever eh didi..
We've passed Here..
Going through Now..
We're left with forever..
Love ma sister
:D

Long updatee

2008-10-07T21:11:00.006+08:00

Ahh okay finally i decided to update..lol..
pardon if this is gonna be one heck of a long entry filled with pics kay.

Lets start with F1. Worked during the 3 days as an usher. Was stationed at singapore flyer with alia fadia but sadly she was doing morning shift so only get to see her for 2 hours..

It was much fun and my group was filled with great people. Funny, jokers and my supervisor himself was nice and fun to work with. A good job and working environment realie. The patrons were themselves friendly. First day got quite a bit of complaints due to lack of ear plugs. Nth to do with us but we had to handle it. Gentar sikit uhh tk pernah handle complaints kan..haha..but it went well.. Manage to reason things.

Woman: What?the ear plugs are sold out already?only on the ferst day?shame on singapore..tell your gobt that tis is one badly organised event. You're holding it for the ferst time and this kinda thing happen?shame on the govt..very bad..

*SLAPS THE WOMAN*
hah i wishhhh..

The event was realie a blast. Plenty of turns and twists. Accidents here and there. And as u all noe the mishap with the ferrari..tsk tsk..haha

Well i was stationed in front of the grandstand wif melissa. Fun lah that gal ahha..We camwhored a plenty the whole group. Pics below...

And here is the eventual champion's,
Pit

Look at the crowd watchingg...

Yes we sempat take a picture together
Two thorn among the roses
Lol
Lucky that guy joined in..

Me and my supervisor
Sahdan...
PS:He's married with twins sooo
Sorrie gals..heh

See we're all patriotic bunch..
Majulah Singapura
(despite the earlier complaints)

Ah yes..that's our second nationality too
Spanish..
ok 1,2,3...ALONSO!!!(we shouted that btw)

Here comes our 3rd nationality
Italianooo
haha :D

The hunks of the show
Ladies take your pic
(Cue to look at the middle,the guy folding arms)

Protector of the country
(Referring to the ones in orange btw..kekeke)

Oh and here comes the pics..ME with tha babes..wooohhh..dun get envious okay :P

Care for a fivesome?
Lol
Yes elfie..Two of their hands are on me..

One of the performer..
I swear the pink one was hotter
Sadly she had to perform by that time..

I LOVE THIS PIC LAAA
THE GALS CHIOOOO..hahaha
LUCKYY MEEE..

Ok thats about F1

First october was HARI RAYA..
So for all muslims..EID MUBARAK TO ALL..YES I've WISHED ALREADY.. SO THE BLOG IS KINDA FOR THOSE I MISSED OUT ON..heh.. No pics for raya though..no cam mah..hp oso kap chai onee..hahah..bt this year rayer..damn boring cannn...huhu..

OH AND HAPPIE BELATED BDAE TO JANNAH TOO COS HER BDAE WAS ON 1st OCT as well..dun worrie da wish da...

settle the mettle...

On monday..(6th october)..i had my first driving lesson..ahaha one word sum it all..frenaticcc...was cool realiee..haha..basket instructor yawn..cant wait for the second one... :D

AND today..8th october.

A special fren of mine's birthday..Well..was a special fren..most of you would noe..:)

so yea..

I was contemplating of putting a pic of u n me together..
But i guess it holds no meaning now..
Nonetheless..
Happie 19th Birthday Roszana
:)

You've made an mark to my life..
By coming into my life..
You've made a scar on my heart..
By going out of my life..
Bestest friend i had...
Take care..
Till we reconcile again..
Someday...
Along the way..

Tag replies

2008-09-18T22:14:00.002+08:00

Okay i shall reply tags here for the first time cos i tink there's too many?hoho keep it coming ppl.. :)

To sarah: haha aru nk apply license or waddd...im kinda freaking out at the thoughts of christmas eve though.... :S

To Syaz: Nope..not all..Mati sia..all attacking..haha..and okey des..i saw it..haha..muker yg tk brape lawa tuuu..haha..

To Iqah: haha sayang lah..kawan mahh..pelan2 kayoh dat 2wks kay..haha kental per lom pegi geylang..haha..nk..ajak aku..lol..aku bwk kau..spam la pulak kau nieee..hahha

To Irah: done with the relink...my twin da pakai blogger sehh..feewittt...:P

To Naj: Yes miss im online nowww..haha so talk..n its ok nt ur fault..im the one appearing offline dat day..heh..tknk link pulakkk...we'll see who knock who's head ferst u cow..

To Jnh: hahah feeling letak miss la..haha..u like her?aww dats nice..she like u all too..yelah tinggal samer neighbourhood..hhaha..sooo u better say hi when u see me arnd..:P btw lamer menghilang from my blog ehh...

To fafa: alamak i didnt write abt fafa wearing seatbelt inside bus 24 otw to geylang...oops i tink i just did mention here...:P

To sarah: Okay atleast its nice and now u noe the meaning of it after i told u..haha..good good keep it up..

To shafiqah: halo shaf..thx for dropping byyyy...

To AA Boy: hahaha...was in the mood to write uhh...i dun tink its dat feeling much.. :)

End..

Senseless

2008-09-15T22:24:00.005+08:00

Withered away in this cold empty room,
Feeling all alone and lonely.
A dream that seems a touch from reality,
In truth was further than it seems.
As life mercilessly slapped me hard,
Awakened i was in realism.
Pierced by a bullet with my name,
The wound never really healed.
In anarchy is my life,
Leading nothing but a never ending misery.
Wayward in disbelief,
My cold heart beats in me.
Senseless i was,
Blinded i was.
Tear me apart,
For this dream aint a reality.
I am no juggernaut,
That keeps on going without a sense of pain.
A lost hope,
Is all i have left.
Wonder what tomorrow will bring,
Smile, tears, heartache or pain.
Or simply just worse,
A tomorrow that may not be.

How will my tomorrow be like?
Shades of this?
Indeed a profound beauty....

Of yesterday and Today..

2008-09-11T23:00:00.005+08:00

And so i'll update tiz blog...hahah..

Been out two days straight buka luar.. Lets start with yesterday..

We went to eat at MAK's place or sumtg liddat.We consisting of Farid, Aida, Nadirah, Hafiz, Alia, Haliim, Jannah, Luqman, Ruzaini, Sarah, Fauzi, Me and Miss Noorie..So that makes 13 of us?haha so u can expect how kecoh it was. And oh it was the first time Noorie was with the clan and im impressed. She mixes well with the whole lot. :)

It was also Aida's birthday yesterday and me being a slenge thought it was her 22nd birthday when it was her 21st..hahaha! Sorie aida...heh.. So yeah, We ordered our food and we all ate. Joke around and stuff. Realie made quite a bit of noise but nyeh who gives a shit. Then we all sang happie bdae to Miss Aida. And she cut the cake Miss Alia baked for her. It was a chocolate brownies cake or something. Heh by the time most of us were full and we shared the cake.

Tiz is me and miss Aida
Sweet 21st birthday.. :)

After that we went off to Singapore Post to chill at the LJS there and talk2...Usual craps. Haliim with his HONG thingyyy..hahah..Ruz repeating his telinga aku buta crap that blurted out during buka..haha..And so time was 10pm when we set off from there off to our own directions and destinations. We so often leave each other with heavy heart and this was the same too. God knows when the next outing will come considering all our busy schedule. So Fauzi, Sarah, Farid and Aida set off by bus while the rest set off by MRT. It was pretty silent in the MRT except the fact that Ruz n Miss Noorie was comparing headsets. And i.. just stood and watch Miss Noorie and her antics. A real nice and outgoing person she is..

Upon reaching tanah merah, me, Miss Noorie, Haliim and Miss Jannah dropped off leaving the rest behind. Took 12 for two stops and all 4 alighted as well. At the junction Haliim and Miss Jannah parted with us and Miss Noorie and I took a slow walk back to her place enjoying the breeze. Calming much. Decided to chill for a bit at a nearby playground and we just sat and talked. :)

And just so if u guys are wondering...

That's me and Miss Noorie :)

PS:And yesterday i was happie..Way beyond imaginable..Thank You :)

And after that i walked home..

TODAY..(ok gosh this looks like a lonnggg entry..haha)

Wanted to go out but didnt have plans. Miss Noorie was out with her frens. Initial plan wif bestfriend was not forthcoming cos bestfren was out of cash. So headed to school for a moment. Met Nad and talked.. And tried to find ppl to go out with and Voila....
Mr Elfie and Miss Faezah(we go way back till pri1 or pri2...long riiiiiiteee)...

We buka at airport..Secret Recipe and headed to Geylang after that..Jalan2..Met some familiar faces...As usual..Geylang perrr...Nasib nv jumpe any relatives. Mati nanti. Those who noe why..noe why la hor..heh..

So yea...nth much...except fafa did henna and me n elfie went off jln2 and fafa got lost finding us..haha..

After that..back homee..Here i am..

Typing..

Tilll then...Tkcr ppl..

:)

Exams over la deyy

2008-08-31T23:28:00.004+08:00

And so i decided to update upon requests from ppl especially our dear miss Nurul (Syakinah) to avoid confusion..ahha

Exams are done and dusted which marks the start of a 2mth sleeping spree. Unfortunately this wont be a eat and sleep session as tomorrow will mark the start of Ramadan which means FASTING! OOH BABY I LOVE FASTING.Hopefullie i never skipped any tiz year. Last year sick abeh skip 4 days..tsk tsk..

Aniwaes exams was a major flop. Especially the last paper. Supplementary exams here i come..sighhh..

Nyeh lets not care about exams. I shall enjoy this sweet surrender of a 2 mth break. And i need a job..badly!!anyone with lobang pls tell me!

Oh yeah i changed my blogskin and my blog song so no more lagu hindustan in it..haha..n generally i was choosing over 3 blog skins that my bestie recommended me. Asked piz n he said this one is nicest among three. So here we are. With the blog skin. "Tragic Love Affair" sounds so me. One sided. Unfulfilled. Never occurred. Still waiting..And waiting...

Aniwaes spending my whole afternoon today in front of the lappie configuring n installing stuff...Tired much. oh and i made a collage of soccer stars..not that nice..but okok la... :)

Click it for full view.
Top row, left to right: Vicente(Spain), Cesc Fabregas(Spain), Carles Puyol(Spain). Rafael Van
der Vaart(Holland), Gianluigi Buffon(Italy)
Middle row, left to right: David Villa(Spain), Samir Nasri(France), David Silva(Spain),
Kaka(Brazil)
Bottom row, left to right: Lionel Messi(Argentina), Klaas Jan Huntelaar(Holland), Michael
Carrick(England), Robin Van Persie(Holland),
Cristiano Ronaldo(Portugal)

Aite thats about it.
Peace out.

Btw happie 18th to Sarah bte Atan. Finallie ur legal eh..ahha.. :)

LOVE IS A GREAT FEELING BUT WHEN IT IS NOT RECIPROCATED OR BETRAYED, IT IS DISASTROUS.

Im back to die

2008-08-22T01:37:00.002+08:00

Finally an update.

Yes my blog was dead. Was really lazy to update whatever nots that happened. To the extent i forgot most of what happened.

All i know is that things seem a little clearer now, just a little but we all know how the weather can change in a split second. In this case, my life.

From jovial joy to a quick sudden mood change to down due to a twist of a tale most of the time. Nonetheless, it is all part of living. Like a friend of mine said, life without problems and is smooth sailing is a boring life to start with.

Take things as it come be it both happiness or sorrows. Treasure the moments that is spent as you may never know when it will come again or worse, whether we will see it again. Im not quite sure if i can see myself reaching 19 next year seeing my health this way. All in God's hands.

Socially, i have great friends around me. Too great till a point of time where i feel i sometime dont belong with them. That im the cause for much fights in it. Yes we all are comfortable with one another but i just cant help feeling that way. What have i offered them in terms of friendship? *Shrugs*

Personal life, still single as always. Wonder when will that change. Wouldnt call my last one a r/ship. Those close to me will know why. So technically, i have been single since ermm..Sec 3?Wow close to three years man. It frustrates at time but im not letting it take over me. And yes im interested in a particular someone whom knows about it. I dont know if she feels the same. Maybe not now. Still to early for both of us. Go with the flow yet do something more. Thats my mentality now.

Ok i guess thats about my update. Take care people.

Misery misery misery
A phantom ghoul of sorrow

Misery misery misery
A poison that stays and grow

Misery misery misery
Killing me soft and slow

Misery misery misery
Death is coming yes i know

Misery misery misery
Take me away, away from sorrow

Emo much?i dont give a shit :)
Nites

Updates!

2008-08-06T00:33:00.002+08:00

Well what can i say.. Of the times that i have not been blogging, its not that i have nothing to blog about but i have loads of it..Just that i couldnt find the time to. PROJECTS ARE KILLINGGG...

Speaking of which, i have say 4 more to submit this week and next week. *mati mati...tentu mati*

We went OCH last week. And i must say it is a little disappointing but the thrill was there nonetheless..Stayed overnite not going home was the bomb.. How often do you get to stay out the whole day and nite with the ones that rocks?not alwaes.. so it is realie sumtg to treasure.

On a darker side of things.. Yesterday wasnt a day to remember. I fainted in school. Well its been a long time since that happen. The last of it was in sec 3. It always happen when im either angry, stressed or depressed and for yesterday it was all 3 jumble up in 1. So even more tensed. And yea i fainted and i couldnt recall what happen at that period. All i noe is when i regain conscious, my body was all call and i couldnt move my muscle and joints except my head. All was tensed up. I am still feeling that effect today but im getting better so thank god. Thanks to all the well wishes i got yesterday and today. And i forced myself to go to school today. That was a bummer.

BTW to a certain someone..:)
Please think happy thoughts and not stress or get too depress too easily. From what i have seen, u tend to get depress way to easily and be affected by it. U have to control ur emotions at times, fren and not let it control you. In terms of friendship, you noe u have me and ur friends around whenever u need them. At times, you dont even realise that you have people who care so much about it whenever you're depressed and u tend to feel alone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NEVER WALK ALONE. I noe never seems so cliche and vague but in this case.. It is valid. And for the times you are alone, think of it as life wanting to teach you to be independent and when there are times you're with the ones who cares, cherish and treasure every moment of it. And realie, dun feel you're alone cos you're not kay. We are here to stay. Always. For now.

On a lighter side of the day today, we celebrated 'Selamat Hari Selasa(Tuesday)' and Aida and Farid's 2yrs together. Loads of pics. Nak upload macam malas gitu so soon la yer?

Was a happie day. And NAD did get to play 'House of the Dead 4' on arcade..Hehz mcm budak2. Tkper irfan pon main..lol :P

Oh and tmr is soccer. After two weeks, back to soccer so lets do it!yeah!

Till then..
Loves you earthlings..
Well you know i know that we know which lot..:)

Aida, Farid, Irfan

2008-07-26T20:17:00.003+08:00

Aida Raihana
The first person i talked with
The ferst person i got to noe
In my poly days
Way back in 2007
Freshman Orientation Camp
Since then
We grew close..
I looked up to her..
For advice
When im all down
She's there with advices
Like a big sister
A sweet sweet woman
Thanx aida for everything..
Though you have graduated
You're never forgotten
That's the lasting impression
That you have left behind
:)

Muhammad Farid Bin Pagi
Aida's special someone
Got to know him through Aida
And silat
A great guy
With a great personality
That is unique of his own
A funny guy
Full of randomnesz
A time with him
Equals to a great time
All balls of laughter
He can never fail to make me laugh
With his antics
You're going to leave TP soon too
Along with most of them
I dont know how
But life has got to move on
You'll be greatly missed
But for now
Lets have more fun
Thanx dude:)

Aida, Farid and Irfan
Lets just say
Im the little one among the three
Okay wait im mostly the little one
Times together have been few
But the times together
Have always been cherished
And treasured
Never Forgotten
Sometimes i just feel
That i dont want the day to end
But silly me..
Of course it will
A new day have to start
A new day with a thought
Of when this can happen again
Soon..
Right guys..
Thanx both of ya..
U guys make a lovely couple
Stay strong with each other
:)

Syahirah

2008-07-21T23:54:00.002+08:00

Syahirah bte Mohd Jalil
My twin sister
Yang lambat keluar brape hari
Kesian mama tauu...
haha
aniwaes..
This darling here..
Is a sweet lass
One who never fails to make me smile
With sometimes her hyperness
And sometimes her belo-nesz..
haha..atleast positive kann..
Her sweet smile..
Can just melt anyone's heart
Her sweet nature..
Can captivate anyone
Her innocent eyes
Mesmerizing..
Her heart..
Pure and filled with good nature
A nice person she is
Who cares and listens
Listen to my rants

This is my twin sister
Be nice to her..
Or i'll come after you..
Loves ya
My aci puteh hantu galah chubby irah
:)

Irfan, Fauzi, Sarah

2008-07-20T13:45:00.002+08:00

Fauzi Bin Salleh
Si tua nie..ahha
Just kidding
I still remember the ferst few times i know you
I didnt realie like you
Dun ask why..haha
I myself dont know
But now..
We're close like bros
You, me and apiz
The three of us..
You provide us the laughter
Being there with advice
Lepak session together..
Craps, New words..
Mr ShuckerShit..haha
Thanx Mr Fauzi
You're realie a great friend
Jiwer member
I noe u noe..
Thanx again..
:)

Sarah Bte Atan
Our Miss Fighter Pliot
Who plays tapraw instead of takraw..
Well what to say..
No denying you were there too
Along with fauzi
Together
With advice
And motivation..
When it matters the most..
Movie session as seen in pic..
Eating away potato chips..
Lepak at amphitheatre
Along with the rest
Getting wasted due to sheesha
You provide us with the nonsensical yet merepek jokes
The youngest in our group..
Nyahah belom birthdayyy..
Thanx Sarah for everything..
Appreciate it loads :)

The three stooges
Aka
Irfan, Fauzi And Sarah
Always providing entertainment
In any sort
Comical behaviours
To comical Words
Along with nad and apiz
We all spent time
Almost most of it
Together
One family
A group of friends
Possible?
Yes it is..
Look at us
We made it possible..
Thanks both of u
For adding colours to my life
Adding light to it
Thanx...

:)

Nad, Piz, Irfan

2008-07-16T23:24:00.002+08:00

Nadirah Bte Jamaloddin
Known her since i was in my freshie days
Last year..
Always there..
Like a big sister to all of us..
Never failed to listen..
Never fail to advice..
Lepak's session
Camwhoring session
Till the time you were 'expelled'
You were missed even for those few weeks
Jokes, Craps, Banters
Always
Grown comfortable with you around
Till you witnessed those tears..
Thanx nad for all the moments..
And for being such a great soul..
A friend, a confidante, a big sister to many of us..
Thanx...:)

Muhammad Hafiz Bin Salleh
Got to know him through Nad
Her date..
Well not anymore..
U noe i noe eh piz ehh
Though only for a short while..
In april..
You're like a bro to me
Always there..
Advising...
Making me see the positives
And not the other way around..
Lepaks session..
Soccer session..
Grown comfortable with you too..
Not as much camwhoring though..
Nyahah..
Layaning my nonsense
Layaning my crap
That's one heck of an achievement..
heh..
Thanx piz...:)
Baik bff...hahah ;)

The three of us
Nadirah, Hafiz, Irfan
Almost every weekday together
A bond we have created
Star gazing
Beach going
Movie watching
To just plain lepak
Truth session
It was all time well spent
You two make a good couple
Realie shows that sometimes opposites attract
Hope you guys last long
More time spent together soon perhaps..
I love you guys reallie
Life would be boring without you guys
I cant imagine next sem without you guys
Internship..
Graduation..
Im nt looking forward to all that..
But nad alwaes sae..
Life gotta to go on..
We'll see
But you guys are in my heart..
Love u guys mann...
Take care tonite and have a good day
:)

Happie bday henna

2008-07-14T22:53:00.004+08:00

This is my lovely didi
Who has just turned twenty
Henna Ansar is her name
And she is a dame
She's a pretty lass
Even when not at her best
A great sister she has been
From the time where everything begin
She's been there for me
Whenever she needed to be

From 09/01/07
Till today
2 birthdays of yours have past
Being 19 and being 20
Growing wiser and stronger
Overcoming everything that stands in your way
14/07/08 is your day
Hope u enjoyed it
I wish you a Happie Birthday
And hope your wishes come through where it befits.

I LOVE YOU DIDI:)
You're a great sis..
Here, now and forever..
Remember?
:)

One for maria

2008-07-13T22:36:00.002+08:00

Inilah kawanku..
Nama dia Maria..
Well..
Kiter lom lah jumper..
Tapi kalau nak katerkan rapat..
Kiter rapatlah kat msn..
Most of the time..
Kiter berbual nonsense ah..
But she does provide the listening ear..
When i need someone..
She's sweet..
Hot..
Tapi tak available..
Sorie ehh korang2..
haha..
Lucky guy that person is..

Korang mesti pelik kan..
Asal aku tulis pasal dier..
Pasal maria ni memang lah baik..
A laughing buddie too..
Full of nonsense..
Tak abes2 kene kacau sal asam pedas..
haha..
She's a dear online fren..
Thanks maria..
Here's one for you..
Peace
:)

distress

2008-07-08T21:38:00.002+08:00

Again and again..

Sigh..

Twice now...

A test?Perhaps..

A sign?maybe..

I dont have words to describe it..

Only THEY know..Not YOU but THEM..

You were never there..okay not never..You werent there MOST of the time..

Hurt hurt hurt...

Confused much too...

Continue or pull back...

And guys..'Dun put too much hope?'..

I wished..

But the fact is i cant hope when nothing happen..

Nothing..

Probable occurrence of events..

Yet undeniable change of heart...

Sigh...

I wonder..

I wonder...

I wonder...

Is it me..

Or is it you?

Words dont describe..

Actions do..

Emotional trip..

Physically blip..

Im tired...

Of you..

And many more..

Help..

No more...

2008-07-06T12:19:00.005+08:00

Pretty much nothing to update. Another tiring week. Fell asleep almost everywhere in school. Whenever i have nothing to do, the next thing i noe is zzzzzzzz..

Wednesday at reservoir was nice. Despite some shits happening and that it was a cloudy night, i could still see stars and gaze upon them. I counted like 22 in that portion. One more to my favourite number.

Thursday since plan was cancelled i spent the whole day doing project project project. Spent like 3hrs on SADS only to find out i cant save. God i felt like screaming.

I really have nth to update about just that im unhappy on some stuff but somewhat contented that something is back to the way it was. No matter part of life rite nad..heh..

And thanx to Raudah i haf to do a quiz/survey/tag wadever u call it..thanx ehh..lol

1. What do you hate about yourself?

Do i hate myself?heh..okay maybe not being able to move one easily

2. Where would u go if someone sponsors u an air ticket?

Paris?Swiss?Madrid?Banyak dokkk

3. What's your favourite thing to do?

Lepaks with bala,bala-chan,nut all..heh

4. Do u think money can buy happiness?

If they do, damn i'll be a happie person man
5. If u were given a chance to received something, what would it be?

LG VIEWTY KUUUUU

6. Things you can't live without?

HP!LAPPIE!NK CONTACT CAMANE EH KALAU TKDER.

7. What are u afraid to lose?

I LOST ONE THING IM AFRAID OF LOSING AND I DONT WNA LOSE ANIMORE

8. If you win 1 million, what would u do?

Goyang kaki ah beb,..

9. What do u dream of doing in the future?dream eh?

Stable job
Family
License tooooooo
10. List out 3 good point the who gave this survey?

Sweet
Becoknesz
Reserved but nice
11. What makes me happy?

When those who mean so much are happy

12. What type of person do u hate most?

Those who break promises and give so much hope ending up bringing me back down to earth in a split second

13. If u could have a superpower what would it be?

I am a superhero. Pyro from X-men dokkk

14. Which season do u like?

Dengar2 Singapore ader season perr...But heh definitely Soccer Season..lol

15. What do u think is the most important thing in ur life?
Trust
16. What are you doing now?
Nak tdo lagi sakkk

17. Who was the last person who hugged u?

UHhh i tink rin...

18. What is the one thing u want it badly now?
LG VIEWTY LAHHHH

19. whom are u close to?

KAKAK ANGKAT,ADEK ANGKAT, BALA, NUT, BALA-CHAN..lol
20. Current Status?
Single and available yet complicated :)

Instructions : remove one question frm above and add in ur personal question. Make it a total of 20 question then tag 8 people in ur list. List them out at the end of this post. Notify he/she through your tagboard :)

8 sasaran ku...:SYAHIRAH, ISHA, BALA, NAD(NUT), MIN, RIN, MARIA, SARAH
ok da gi uat!

End

Rambling blabbering

2008-07-01T00:49:00.002+08:00

And so..The request of our dear Miss Yasmin is that i update my blog. Im not that surprised cos i predicted it to be forthcoming..Nyahaha...I suroh now ur turn ehhh..tkper2..

Ok so today was monday(cos looking at the clock now its 12.50am of a tuesday).. Another week of school. Woke up all sleepy. Waddya expect siaa..FINALS YESTERDAY WADD.. and hoho SPAIN WON...im soo happieee..nyahah..i entered morning class shouting...SPAIN WON!WOOH!(well i was late for class so me doing dat..everyone juz turned around and look at me..)i was smiling from ear to ear or waddd..ahaha...

So the main highlight of today..MAIN BLIND MICE KAT PLAYGROUND..haha yer min dat game..mcm budak2 yer mmg..haha bt reliving the moments..fun or waddd..haha baik fiz jadi blind mice entah brape lamer sampai peluh giler abes..padehal maghrib ehhh...tkder sun..lol..then the usual T.O.D :)

yea basically nth to blog about lah..

just that im happie at the moment..since that thursday...and that friday of course...life ho toh aise hain...in other words..life is like that lah..so yeah..i dun see the point in blabbering abt it...

im still waiting for the pics of friday at the park...n i think i do snap lovely photos of the nature...u'll see it then judge it:)

kaylah imma end tiz random blabbering...

hap hap happie now min:)
ur turn..heh

Update of the week

2008-06-28T17:55:00.002+08:00

And so i've not updated for the week.

I can say i've been busy and lazy.

Monday.
I cant remember what happened on monday..Geez

Tuesday
A boring day with nothing done but laze around in school. Another drama. Shant elaborate much.

Wednesday
Lesson from 9-1pm and thats about it. Went to fetch yasmin from her block and brought her to tp. Lunch there cos both were hungry. And btw hope u liked the chocolate cake i bought for u min:)
Comments comments comments from the itas clan wondering who you were min..haha funny lah some of the comments. Soccer up next at 6.Min was still there watching..And bacins kau fiz n nad dtg lambat..agy jap aku sampai konon..podaa..haha..Scored one jer..Boringg...Went off at arnd 8+. Met rin(min's adek which is also my adek) and we went to simpang for dinner. Only they ate i didnt. Jage badan beb..haha..Usual crap with rin around. Joke around laugh around. Went off around 11.Thanx for the day you two. :)

Thursday
Fuhh okay i hated thursday especially in the evening. Morning was alrite nothing much. Evening had an argument with naziah resulted in me being a lil harsh on her. I was disappointed with myself for not being there and listen to her. So i got out of class halfway and met nad. Let it out on her. Thanx nad. Sob sob in front of her. Must be the week man. At nite watched 'Phantom of the Opera' with nad and alia.Made me feel a whole lot better lah. Then i smsed naziah.Content only known to some people. :)

Friday aka Yesterday
Yesterday had lesson at 10-1.Theatre. Was a not bad lesson. We managed to come out with a plot for our performance. Fuh the original plot macam TWIST BYK OR WAD. Aniwaes yea after that was lepak session wif nad,fiz,fauzi n sarah.min couldnt follow. nvm some other time rite min like thurs:)
Watched movie at downtown. Title was WANTED. It was a good movie with also a twist at the end. i rate it 8 and effects to be 9. Though some part unrealistic nak mampz ah. Then we went for lunch nearby. Off to pasir ris park then. It was okay at first and the scenery was majestic. Red sun..Dark clouds. Stars. Waves.
We bought tiz sarsi bottle where fiz at ferst thought it was alcoholic drink..nyahah!got punk'd perr..:P
Oh yea then most of us went emo mode for some parts. Like me. And i puffed like 2batangs plus setengz lagi..been a while since i puffed..and never a full stick..haiz ohwell..

And when i looked at the mark on my hand.. im reminded of you guys fighting. Pls..no more fighting kay u guys.. :)

And i shall end it now.
Tata loves

2008-06-22T18:09:00.002+08:00

I wanted to write a happy entry today BUT HOLLAND LOST AND THERE'S A LIL IMMATURE GAL THAT GOT ON MY NERVES RECENTLY.

SO sorie Yasmin.Happy Entry got to be delayed. But no emo post. More like angry lah kay. Atleast its not emoooooooo...

Ferst up. Holland. Tournament Favs after impressive group display. How the fuck can they lose to Russia siaaa...Blood go up or wadd..

If thats not all by a margin of 3-1 after extra time..tsk tsk..
I tell u if Spain lose tonite tomorrow pls dun bug me siaaa...

Ok and the biggest matter now.

There's a fucking lil girl who got onto my nerves lately which explains sometimes my personal message in msn seems mat-ish.

The stories goes like this.
A 14 year old gal(OMFG) thinks i like her and she said she started to love me cause of that(OMFG X2).. So i began to distance myself from her lah kan. Only sensible thing to do. And because of that, she thinks im a bastard playing wif her feelings..(OMFG X3)..like wtf lahhh..since when i like u to play wif ur feelings sial..

So off this lil gal went to her fren, another 14yr old gal, and started blabbering shits about me(kononnyer consulting lah kan)..And before anything i tell u this fren of her got guts just for a moment to sms me lah sehhh...

Okay in a nutshell, she smsed me tellin me im a mother fuckin bastard and a s.o.b(OMFG X4)..maki aku tk cukop..nk libatkan mak aku..knn siaakkk...

Ok so thats a summary of all the content of the sms..so im like wtf..I sms back ah saying..wow u got balls(indirectly) to sms me maki-ing me all ah..But then who the fuck are you to interfere in this problem?Aku tk kenal kau takder hubungan ngan kau..kau jgn nak pukimak ngan aku msg aku maki aku..

Yea yea..then i was expecting a reply ah..But yea den i realised she's a gal n has no balls. so coward lah tk reply alek. I sms again. Eh bitch, takot per tk reply balek?nk step terror konon..fuck off la cb..Then i buat bodoh jer ah..

Malam that lil 14 yr old gal who thinks i like her was online abes kene kicap ngan aku..I think my blog will be banned lah eh if i entered the details here..Too explicit wif vulgarities..haha..

Malas nk layan i blocked her lah..Nad got pissed hearing about it..Hafiz laughed cos it was kinda funny to be honest..Isha darling tot it was funny too..haha..

So moral of the story..This story is funnily pissing..heh

Ohwell..on a lighter note..
YES ISHA I MISS U KAYYY...U COW U...
:)

Hate You

2008-06-17T01:17:00.001+08:00

IM MISSING YOU..

3 CHANCES?

U've NOT GIVEN ME ONE YET.

NOT ONE.

Its helpless pining for you
Leaving me along is something i rue

The one that leaves never looked back
So why am i still here hoping for contact

When the moonlight shines you're in my mind
And when the sun rises you're the one i find

Hoping to see a glimpse of an sms
But what i got is nothing but being an ass

What it seems seem so clear
That what i've been is never your dear

But how drastic the memories you've given
Is the reason being you're forgiven

Every night seems so blur
Without you i considered a dear

Why oh why is this shit happening
Knowing you that is all so cunning

Throwing away this thought of mine
Go away and let me shine

I HATE YOU.

ON ANOTHER NOTE..IM SORIE B FOR TONITE :)

UTTER NONSENSE

2008-06-10T19:32:00.002+08:00

Life is beautiful. With people that matters.

Why do i say that? Cos it really does. With who? With the people that is in my photo collage(with the exclusion of one and the inclusion of hafiz lala..hahah..

Soccer fills my time nowadays. Be it game or matches. Or simply teevee..

HOLLAND THRASHED ITALY 3-0 shockingly yet made my day even better than gerekness. YEAR 1s LOST TO YEAR 2 AND 3 3-1 in the match yesterday.

BUT THE BEST THING IS.. MY BABY NAZIAH IS BACK..power lah..rindu giler siols.atleast she's back home safely.GEREKNESS.

OH and i cut my hair yet again..huahuahua..
so did hafiz lala..

eh hafiz and nad open late nite chat again?nyahaha!gerek giler n kekek siaaa...

ohwell im blabbering nonsense..
BYE

Thanks huh

2008-06-07T00:00:00.002+08:00

You've said it all. In that entry of yours.

You've accepted your part..That is was miscommunication and paranoia.

One things for sure, things will never be the same again. And i was not sleeping in English classes. I meant that word. Cruel. Why? Cos i was hurt when u called me that. When i see you've deleted me somewhere. It hurts even more considering you knew what was going on in my life. Separation all. It hurt so darn bad.

But whatever. it does not affect me now. Nope.

And you've said it yourself. You've answered your own question. That it doesnt matter. The slightest bit of it.

Kudos to you and thanks for everything.

Have a blissful life w/o me. It wont make that much of a difference anyway right? Since you didnt hesitate at all to remove me.

:)

Back at you

2008-06-04T22:34:00.002+08:00

I just dont get you.

You're feeling insecure just because i've been quiet?How weird is that huh?Is it that wrong to be quiet for some time and not tell you aniting?Must i tell you every single detail of my life to you? No cos i dont want to be dependent on anyone for the moment. I wanna try to be independent.

And who is avoiding you? You just got back from your holidae(how am i to contact you when you're away) and here i am having my common test. Busy preparing and studying. Isnt that a good reason?Am i in the wrong? Im not reasoning with you here but im stating facts.

And one other fact is that you're the one over paranoid. You're the one feeling that we're drifting apart when all i wanted was time for myself for this moment. Us drifting apart was not the case but your over paranoia brought us there. You deleted me from friendster. Fine. I wanna see if you can delete me from your life. Like i said. You do wadever you want. Just dun regret choosing that path :)

And calling me an asshole?woww...after all that we've been through?im not asking for thanx wadsoever cause i've been sincere being there for you and the best you can show is that?unbelievably cruel the world is. Unbelievably cruel you are.

Cruel much. Knowing the fact i hate separations after going through once. I thought you would be sensitive and cared enough on that issue but no. You chose to do the same. Ignoring me altogether. That's what i call cruel. Hitting right where it hurts most leaving no evidence of it. Pure cruelty.

Being the person that i am, i DO NOT initiate this all. You started this and im ending it right here. And being the person that i am, you're always welcome back. That is if ur EGO and full of Yourselfness does not get in the way.

Yours truly,
A friend that's no longer a friend in your eyes.

Finally

2008-05-29T19:11:00.002+08:00

Ok its been a while since i blogged. Reason being. Unable to find the time to.

Firstly i would like to wish a very HAPPIE BIRTHDAY to my bro and sister. Happie 22nd and 28th Birthday respectively. May all your wishes come through and may you have a long life ahead of you filled with happiness and joy.

On another note, term test is NEXT WEEK and assignments were due THIS WEEK. so busy busy me.

Im practically worried for my LAW paper cause i think it demands alot. The terms, the explanation and the different sections. Much to revise on

DBAS is another area of concern. We have a not so apt tutor that yaps nothing but to himself and for 3 whole hours i'll either go online or go ITAS for my own break coming back 30-45mins later and giving a reason that i had stomach ache.

The Favs have been filling the most part of my life right now. Slacking, lunch-ing, uno-ing and studying.

And i have a hate tagger..hurhur such no lifer..get a grip of urself will ya?criticizing people and their way of life.puh-leaseee....look at yourself?if yours aint boring, why bother about mine?urs is that boring till u have time to bother about mine rite. To 'spice' up ur own life isnt it by putting some drama? And about me pimpin'..Im sorrie to say that i dont. And even if i did, it shouldnt be worrying you rite?its my 'boring' life aint it?why should you care?and what koko krunch?are u like deprive of childhood or something?or maybe ur indeed and truly a child?i wonder...hmmm...and putting inside joke doesnt help the fact that your trying to imply that i actually know you cos apparently i DO NOT know you. In under no circumstances have i mentioned anything about snacks let alone koko krunch to anyone. So if ur trying to imply that, im sorrie but ur implications are all wrong. Get your FACTS right before trying. Mentioning that im small, have i ever said that i detest being small(short) watever?i dont think so. So what makes you think i'll be affected by what you said?im happy with the way i am and the people around me knows that. WHO ARE YOU to be so 'concern' about it? and just for your info, koko krunch doesnt help ppl to grow okay?Last word from me, not bad for a starter but not good enough. Try harder. Im sure you can do it. ;)

To those against 'watata'..thanks i appreciate it all :)

END

Events that happen today

2008-05-17T00:18:00.002+08:00

Current Song playing:Di mana kan ku cari ganti - Liza Hanim's Version

I love the song to bits and it so often made me cry listening to it but today im in a hyper and high mood. so no TEARS :D

anihows alot of things been up and we definitely needed today to chill. I ended up not going to class at all today and waking up late was a great boost. Went to school and meet hafiz, nad, alia.met sarah atan in the bus but she had to go class so we went our separate ways. Today was CCN DAY so everywhere was packed with people. Me and Nad wanted satay so bad but we end up nt being able to buy it cosss we waited for sarah atan to finish class and by the time, all satay gone sia..basket siaa!!$#%@#$@!#$$!!! tol...tkper2..aku mkn kat east coast punyer..padan muker korang..lagi sedapp...

played soccer abit today as well. i swear today's weather was extremely HOT...so main jap jer..

Nad decided to accompany alia to bugis for her shopping. Me, hafiz and sarah joined later. So hafiz balik dulu.Siol kau sempat mandi makan. Penat aku ngan sarah tunggu sampai we dropped off at simei and almost missed the 2nd train but thanx to the running FRESH hafiz,we manage to board it.

so aper lagi..kiter 3 da lah camwhorer...so snap snap snap..i swear im only good wif 6280/6288 or nad's sony ericsson fone..if i use others...haprakk..so..yeap use hafiz's fone..snap snap snap...

met the two at bugis..they shop shop shop..n sumpah they all rambang mater..nampak bende jer beli...had to refrain nad frm buying n sarah frm buying MORE stuff...hahah

so we ended arnd 10..waited for the bus..and camwhore even moreee..and coincidentally..all five of us either wore black or white..i wore white..so did sarah n nad..nad nari mcm pengantin sakk..puteri ehh..haha and nad dun gif me dat angellic,innocent look..u noe i noe ehhh...alia n hafiz wore black...so we camwhored..pics uploaded soon once i get it..maklumlah..i dun haf camera fone animore....

took 197 wif sarah atan...she dropped at marine parade..i took it all the way to bedok..n now im home..n i juz got a news frm my dear lil adeq(umur samer panggil adeq eh) irahh...sheesh

Umm irah..dont think too much kay.Think of what i said to u. And if u need me, i'm alwaes free and/or a buzz away..aite?its part of being in a r/ship..disappointments/sorrows and happiness aite...sometimes it works out..sometimes it dont..u have to move on..its hard but i believe ur strong enough to pull out of this predicament aite...tkcr..n i cant say wat i always say to u here..but u noe i s****g u my lil adeq kay..hugs! :)

The end
PS:see maria its not an emo post..its an update of wad happen today..enjoyed reading tak?heheh... :D

Memoirs

2008-05-13T20:40:00.002+08:00

Walking towards cityhall mrt station, it rekindled an old flame of the past. Passing through every shops remembering every single event that took place back then. Depressing much but i grew stronger. Controlling of emotion, yet one thing's for sure the details were vivid. The talks, the actions everything.

Described everything to Kak Liah and she told me that i was one hell of a strong person. Reaching home, i was tired much but i took time to look at her pic. I did not cry for the first time looking at her. With a warm smile i said 'Thank You' to her. Surprised?

Couple of reasons..
1)For entering my life and fill it with much sunshine during the times.
2)For trusting me and letting her trust me.
3)For showing me there's no forever but only always.
4)For breaking her promise and showing that she's human afterall and is not perfect and likely to err
5)For leaving me just like that rather than avoid me yet give me hope.
6)For loving me the way i am and with her own special way.

Her name's been etched so deep in my heart that the name wont go away and will remain there always.

I couldnt sleep the whole night last night.(and to nad sorie for that msg. Wrong timing perhaps?though you didnt reply.)

Walking with heider today, i described the whole meeting with her that happen way back in october. My heart was heavy and i felt like tearing but i held it back. Im pouring it out here now. Not crying though. Tears ran dry after all this times maybe?

Wont blame it on destiny or fate or even her but if you're reading this still..

You're missed.
And
You're forgiven yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Time heal no wound
For the scar is there
Etched with emotions
For all to see and feel

Random lagiii

2008-05-04T20:13:00.002+08:00

Decided to change my blog skin since i really didnt know what to blog about and maria's asking me to update.hah. *Seelah MARIA your fault lahhh..:P*

I kinda thing the skin's cool but i think i prefer better.Nonetheless this will be my skin for now.

Been trying to do up the cmsk assignment lah..walao..so difficult can the topic.

PROBLEM: COMMUNICATION DURING YOUTH OLYMPIC GAMES

'YOU ARE TO THINK OF WAYS HOW THIS PROBLEM CAN BE SOLVED AND THE BENEFITS THE PROPOSED SOLUTIONS WILL BRING.'

wah sianz lehhh...

must submit tmr sial...okaylah. my group member done some ady and im thinking of my part.

and SUNDAYS are boring much.

And this might be a lil late but nonetheless something to cheer about.

MOSCOW HERE COMES MAN UTD.

and man utd won west ham 4-1 despite being 10men down.Bodoh sak nani...

heckk..

plainly random:)

update

2008-04-30T02:17:00.003+08:00

Im still awake right now awaiting the...

MANCHESTER UNITED
VS
BARCELONA FC

it will be starting soon in arnd 10mins or so and i hope tonite's match will be the exact contrast of what was at Nou Camp, Barcelona where MAN UTD were defending throughout the match not intending to play their fluid,free-flowing attacking football.

No matter.Hopefully.For us United FANS to say the least.

MOSCOW?HOPEFULLY.

Moving to another topic, i snapped a lovely scenery picture at school with nad's phone a few days ago.So here's the picture..

Yet another picture perfect

Life's been okay.Contented to say the least.Looking through all the positives.
Soooo....

IM SMILING PEOPLE!

cheers!

PICSS

2008-04-25T22:56:00.004+08:00

Pics of just now!

ENJOY!

started with the five of us..

candid moments..im halved!!%#^#$%

to hafiz's blurry moments

to alia's ntah knaper moments

to hafiz looking at the three stooges moment..lol

to sarah's moments

to our moments

to picture perfect <<33

times like this..
are ones to savour..
moments like this..
gives life a new flavour..

LAughter At PEace

2008-04-25T20:36:00.003+08:00

For the first time after so long, i felt at peace. I was happy. I felt as though everything was back to last time.

The whole group. Together. Me, Alia, Sarah, Aida, Farid, Nad, Hafiz.

After so long, we spent most of the day together. Me, Alia, Aida, Farid, Nad and Hafiz first of course before Sarah joined in and later Zubaidah.

From silat booth to library to intending to go techno to prata paradise to back to itas.. A day to remember indeed.

Laughter, joy, irritated feeling to utter crap and nonsense just blurted out outta nowhere. Everything was there.

Pics will be up soon.

And thanks for the day. It'll be one to remember. Hoping much more will follow soon.

AIDAAAA PICSSS..hahah :)

2008-04-24T01:15:00.000+08:00

OF CHEST PAIN, COUGH AND VOMIT

I FEEL SO BLEARGH...

random spoken thoughts

2008-04-21T22:59:00.004+08:00

I think im officially a nutter who cant control my emotions.

Damn. I swear i've let alot of things affect my mood and behaviour to the extend it affects others as well. Im so sorrie to all who have been affected by it. Henna Didi, Ruzainah, Isha Darling are some.

I think i should go recollect myself again one of this days. Usual place. Pasir Ris Park. Where its peaceful and quiet at night. Being all alone thinking of every passing moments that has left me. Insyallah i'll feel better after that? Okay maybe being alone at this point of time aint such a good idea afterall..so anyone?

I told a friend something today which i thought im guilty of doing. The quote was:
DWELL ON THE PAST AND YOUR PRESENT WILL BE LOST AND YOUR FUTURE WASTED

Im guilty of doing just that. Dwelling on the past. You know. My 'zana' issue(ok i seriously dun care if she still read my blog animore) and APRIL..yeah..Its time for me to put money where my mouth's at(or issit the other way arnd).

IM MOVING FORWARD..period..

no more emo nites crying or wadever nots.
PS: DIDI SMACK ME IF I DO.THANX.

so yup..its back to the old irfan that's happie2...

on another note since its been a while since i blogged properly..

FOW/C was a blast..n ACCION is the BEST..one big familyyy <33 BEST SPIRITED EMPIRE SUMMORE..WAH SEYY bunch of hooliganss..hahaha... and school just started today.like finallie can? no more slacking. NANAD u noe wad to do!:D yr2 and i wanna buck up.its time to roll up my socks and make my effort worth it. No more saying. "man i tink im in the wrong course". no more saying. "that's a bullshit subject lah" im already in the course.my 2nd yr now.I have to accept it.

SO IRFAN's is on the march so watch out people!

IRFAN..IRFAN IRFAN hu hah!
DONT MESS WITH IRFAN DYNAMITE!BOOM BOOM!
and no im not gona shake my booty..haha..enough already in the camp..

oh oh i made a new fren today..
her name's maria..helloooo mariaaa :D
for now all i can sae is she's nice to talk with.i cant say much lah kan..
only get to noe.n yea..lets make the frenship last..wooh!

pretty much rite:)
that's maria...

END

Distressed much

2008-04-20T02:16:00.002+08:00

No where else but back to the blog.

April sucks. And i swear im beginning to hate you. You're the reason to all my lonely nites, crying, being angry at myself, being angry at others. Having this feisty rollercoaster of emotions to content with. Its all you.

Where have i done wrong?Looking back, nowhere at all. If there were, i would have admit but hell no..Not even a bit. April I so hate you. Im having this much anger in me right now that i just feel like punching anything. Mind you. ANYTHING. I don't see the use of holding it back but letting it out and hurting myself is dumb. But what do you care. You don't at all. April, selfishness kills a friendship. MIND YOU. IT KILLS.

Not to worry. Im a Muslim. My religion is against suicide. So don't worry. But fuck you April. I've loved you so much early on but you decided to turn against me. Very nice indeed.

You may ask what's my fucking problem and my answer will be, ASK YOURSELF THAT AND MAYBE YOU'LL FIND THE ANSWER TO YOUR OWN QUESTION.

Im so lost right now April. And there's no one to guide me. All I hear from people is 'chill', 'sabar', 'take it easy', everything's gonna be fine' BUT no one has listened out to me. I am talking but no one's listening. I want to remove this huge feeling in me April. Please.

Distressed much

2008-04-06T22:34:00.000+08:00

Will be away at FOW/FOC from monday till saturday..

Aniting sms or call..

Deep in thought

2008-04-02T22:16:00.003+08:00

As i walked home just now, a thought came to me like the wind in a flash.

Am i who i really am?

Not a tad nicer?not a tad meaner?

I dont know. I feel like all this is a facade and its not who i want to be. It seems being hypocritical to be someone your not but hey i swear i was just being me or so i thought.

Living in this world is like a play. You being the main character in it and control what you want to be like and how the story goes. The only thing in this play is.. There are no 'cuts' or re-scene. You have to go with what you already gone through. Whether it is seemingly right or wrong. But then again, there are no rights or wrongs but just perception of it.

I've dream of so many successes but is it worth living with just dreams? Should i take a step back into reality or should i take a leap of faith to make the dreams come through. It just take additional effort and plenty of risk and should i risk what i already have for it?

I want to search for myself one of this days but i've been busy. And since im having two days off from work maybe i should do it tmr. Distant myself from everything and everyone and just be alone somewhere and think about it.

I just want to end this with sharing of a view of life in this so-called poem i made. It's more of expressing of my thoughts to me then being a poem.But what the heck. :)

Under the limelight of the stage, our show began.
No cuts, no edits but a mere simple play.
Flaws are told, bloopers are made, blunders are shown.
No directors, no producers but only actors.
Comedy, romance, horror, action all in one scene.
No script, no direction but only the flow of thoughts

Protagonists and antagonists played by the same character.
No supporting casts, no back up doubles.
Different views and different personalities at all different times.
No right or wrong but just perception of it.

Under the limelight of the stage, our show is ending.
No joy, no agony but just a rollercoaster of emotions.
As destiny and fate intertwined one another.

Under the limelight of the stage we are once again.
No lost, no gain but just a dawn of a new beginning.

Under the limelight of the stage, the end is near but the shows not over.

So are we really who we are?In this stage play.

End

Isha Darling

2008-03-26T15:59:00.003+08:00

Here's to a new friend and a new darling..
Isha :)

Nice knowing you and getting to know you
You're a nice girl
Funny
Fun
Enjoyable to talk to
Nice crapping with
And indeed..
A darling :)

Distant apart
Is not a barrier
Hope this friendship
Shines like a star in a gloomy night

:D

2008-03-25T22:03:00.002+08:00

Two things occur to me today in which i gave a hard thought about.

First..What haliim, luqman and me talked about when we met just now.
Second..A bus driver..

I shall touch on the second point first.

We singaporeans definitely takes thing for granted and are selfish creatures i must say.We think nothing but about ourselves,and what we're going to do.And nothing else.We follow strictly to our daily routines and doesnt step out from it.

Now imagine a bus driver..Same route n probably same passengers everyday at the same time..Boring aint it?

But this bus driver is special..He greets everyone of his passengers with a smile and a simple good evening n wave goodbye at every alighting passengers.Even to me.And i replied him with a smile and a good evening of my own.As i took a seat at the back, i notice every passenger alighting or boarding and they make it seem as though the driver did not exist.Not even a glance at the driver.Only one or two acknowledge him with a smile.Pity i must say for the driver but he kept on doing it not caring the reply for he know it will be special to receive back a smile and drive with a smile and a thought that he is being acknowledged.

A nice driver with a big heart i must say.

About what haliim n us talked about.It really made me think about every single word and make me start to ponder how true each of it is.

Why are those things that way and not the other?

Strange..Weird..Facts...I must say..

ohwell..i shall continue pondering

bubye

update!

2008-03-15T21:14:00.002+08:00

Imma start with an insight about life..

Life is like a cup of coffee..Enjoy the good taste while its hot before there come a period whereby it'll cool off...

In other words..Life should be enjoyed to the fullest before it is too late..Savour the good moments before it turns cold..Enjoy our youth and do things we want and wish to do before getting old and with a more physically weak body, you might not be able to enjoy life as much..

Aniways..Sorie to all those avid blog reader of mine for the prolonged period of not having proper updates..I've been busy with life yet enjoying it as well..Yes u all may know im working during tiz holiday..As an aircraft cleaner..The job is alright but unfortunately for me, my shift is at 6am so i kinda have to be awake by 4am..Which means lesser time online then normal..So pardon for that..

And yeah i got to know a sweet lil gurl who works at popeye terminal 1..Her name's fatin..Yea we've known each other for a week already..And she's entering tp soon..cooshitz!haha..*ruzainah!first degree!hahaah(inside joke)*

This girl is really sweet..And her family is also nice to me too...been spending time after work meeting her and all..so yea been kinda occupied..

And to those people who wanna go out with me..Book me early2 can?need to apply off lehhh...ahha

And wafah!tiz monday or tuesday okay!And fatin..thurs!ok go!

aNd oh yar..I met my buddie on thursday..Siti Hajar aka Jaja..another sweet girl despite the minah look and all..i swear she aint one yaw!too sweet to be a minah can..Yea met her after her work and my work..

Which explains my constant tiredness cos of lack of sleep..

Aniways..i guess thats all lar for the update..

PS: Ruzainah voice like kiddo!hahah

endz~

Exam results

2008-03-12T17:43:00.000+08:00

Pass my exams with no supp paper..alhamdulillah...

:)

to you

2008-03-04T01:20:00.003+08:00

It all started with a 'Hi pal' and ended with nothing but silence on your part..It was a friendship worth dying for and yet im dying without it right now...Months of knowing and a single meeting was all it took for us to grow close..Platonic Love...That was it..Then and even now..

I just cant bring myself to forget you..I cant..Im trying but im trying the impossible..How can i ever forget someone like you..Everyday..asking how i am..asking how my day was...asking how i was wif dat gurl...Everyday...Everyday caring for me..Concern to my every problems..Coming to my aid..Being my listening ear..Being a fren...A confidante..How am i to forget someone like you?

I do not know about ur part..I hope u haf moved on..Just like wad u wanted when u ended our frenship...our bond...your promise..our promise...But if i do noe u well..I noe u haven...Trust me..You haven...I feel it...

Being wif u..i was comfortable..I was myself..freely speaking...lettin my hearts out...U felt the same too...

I could still rmbr that one nite where we had practically the same dream at the same place almost doing the same thing...Same nite..Same time..Coincidence?perhaps..Explain how i used to noe that ur in need of someone at a point of time..n u..knowing that im in need someone as well?Yet another coincidence?i doubt so..

That meeting together..at marina south pier...the train rides listening to songs...its still playin on repeats in my mind..it felt like ystd...how we camwhored...and u being the one and only person to actuallie be able to touch my hair n mess it up..heck that is the one thing i dun ever let anyone do it...yet i allowed u to...having u in my hp..as my dp...n how ppl went arnd askin me hu dat is n i proudly sae..the best gurl i've ever known..my buddie..

I seriouslie didnt noe wad went wrong..If its a mistake on my part..IM WELL AND TRULY SORIE..lets start anew shall we?fark the past kiss the future?rmbr dat?lets put all the sweet memories behind us and build new ones?cos w/o u i haf neither today nor tomorrow..all i haf is the past..pls buddie...pls..

Roszana
I Miss you
Come back..pls..

2008-03-01T00:57:00.001+08:00

Contented..sort of..
Happy..sort of..
Disappointed..indeed..

Happie 18th to me...
Hopefullie its happie..
Happy Birthday..

Reminisce

2008-02-28T03:20:00.003+08:00

And so it all comes down to this..

THE FINAL PAPER in like 11hours time..I would love to say that I'm READY! for this paper..okay frankly, all the papers but sadly, i cant..Im nt at all ready..Not at all..

I can see the results now...D's and F's...With supp papers to be taken..pfft...how wonderful..Yet another semester is over and im not getting better at all..Im getting a whole lot worst...sheesh

Ohwell...whats done is done...I cant turn the time now can i?Embrace the future is all i can do noww..

Oh speaking of time..

I spent a few moments ystd reminiscing the past..The people i know...How i got to know them..When exactly...(Yea thanx wafah for letting me go thru the frenster comments n messages..realie..not being sarcastic here)

and yeahh..time do fly past without us knowing..and before u know it...u lost some old frens..and u make new ones..and sometimes if ur lucky, u manage to get back with ur old buddies..

But one thing made me thing..How can we easily lose a fren or forget them so easily after going thru the world with them...?

Probable answers
1)Your frens got sick and tired of u
2)You were bz making new frens that u tend to neglect ur old ones
3)You did some wrong to them
4)Your frens juz want a change of confidante

i dont know the answers myself..so u decide...

Yea back to reminiscing..i realised that making frens is easy..but stayin wif them..thru thick n thin is a whole lot harder...But once dat bond has been made..its hard to break down despite the toughest n extreme fights or quarrels u will ever have..

To my pri sch frens(PVSS)..
Geez thx u guys for still rmbring me..tho my reign there was kinda shortlived..i moved..u guys still rmbr me noww...appreciate loads..

To my other pri sch frens(FPS + JIWA GANG)
Yea FPS was the bomb larr...ahha...knwoing many...n i swear i haf stm cos i dun rmbr most of u..bt u guys did..n slowly i managed to rmbr u guys..thx lar kan..for still being there..all this while...ehh JIWA..next outing bilerr?

To my sec sch frens..
Well still have u guys in my heart n it seem like only ystd we were a total strangers and now we're all too close arent we?despite us gg our separate ways...oh and aniq...go organise another soccer ahh mcm dat time..okay?ok go!hah

To my adek2 angkat(Shirin,yayah,amirahfarihin,adalia..errr.....saper lagi ehh?haha)
Well u guys realie rocked my world lar..haha..make me feel young again..lol..step maner nyer da tua jer me..nvm...Well now dat u guys are getting older..da 15 siotss...i actuallie haf left u guys for two yrs areadi larrr...sadded...aniwaes yea..i hope u gals can take care of urself kay..aniting im owaes arnd...

To my didis(Henna,Diya etc)
Wad to say di...haha Henna didi...1yr and 2mths soon err...yea longest of all dat i've known as in last time no connection wif me langsung..bt yea...1r 2mths!time especially fly when i haf u arnd...
Diya didi..tho recently only i noe u...ur such a sweet didi larrr..n yes i love u areadi larr di...lu power ah..haha!

To Nurwafah(my Darling fren)
It was in may last yr that i got to know you..Those late nite talks we used to have and still have..Singing on the fone(n i juz realised i only sing when i talk on the fone with u not wif others on the fone), talking crap...inside jokes...and that FIGHT WE HAD..yea i noe it still hurts u thinking abt it and remembering it...that one and only major fight we had in our frenship so far..im sorry for that kay darling?i realie am..ohh..!friday!dun forget...:D

To my other newly found frens,be it in TP,ITAS CLANS,DARLINGS
I STILL LOVE YOU GUYS MANY2 LARRR...Despite that short period of time knowingg..u guys haf a special place in my heart..trulyy...
Haliim GAY
Alia lu mau kepe
Aida are we there yet
Farid tak dapat lar
Fauzi lemak
Heider ahyelah
Nadirah *do hand sign*
Luqman abehhh ah
Sarah just just shut up
Farahyn just just die
Yaya ochopot

ahha..:)

k end..i tink its a long post...

byee...back to studyin..

Main Agar Kahoon

2008-02-21T22:16:00.002+08:00

Main Agar Kahoon...

If i were to say so...

How would u react?What answers will i get?

Well today's blog is from the song in the movie om shanti om which got stuck in my head...And i tink its a wonderful song to begin with..So here's the song and the lyrics with the translation..

LYRICS

Tum ko paaya hai toh jaise khoya hoon
Kehna chahoon bhi toh tumse kya kahoon
Kisi zabaan mein bhi woh lavz hi nahin
Ke jinme tum ho kya tumhein bata sakoon
Main agar kahoon tumsa haseen
Qayanat mein nahin hai kahin
Tareef yeh bhi toh sach hai kuch bhi nahin
Tum ko paaya hai toh jaise khoya hoon…
Shokiyon mein doobi yeh adayein
Chehre se jhalki hui hai
Zulf ki ghani ghani ghataein
Shaan se dhalki hui hai
Lehrata aanchal hai jaise badal
Bahon mein bhari hai jaise chandni
Roop ki chandni…..
Main agar kahoon yeh dilkashi
Hai nahin kahin na hogi kabhi
Tareef yeh bhi toh sach hai kuch bhi nahin
Tum ko paaya hai toh jaise khoya hoon….
Tum hue meherbaan
Toh hai yeh dastaan
Ab tumhara mera ek hai caravan
Tum jahan main wahaan
Main agar kahoon humsafar meri
Apsara ho tum ya koi pari
Tareef yeh bhi toh sach hai kuch bhi nahin
Tum ko paaya hai toh jaise khoya hoon
Kehna chahoon bhi toh tumse kya kahoon
Kisi zabaan mein bhi woh lavz hi nahin
Ke jinme tum ho kya tumhein bata sakoon
Main agar kahoon tumsa haseen
Qayanat mein nahin hai kahin
Tareef yeh bhi toh sach hai kuch bhi nahin

TRANSLATION IN ENGLISH

Having found you, I feel I’ve lost myself
Even if I could, I wouldn’t know what to say
There are no words in any language

That I can use to describe you
If I were to say that a beauty like you
Cannot be found in the whole world
This compliment, in truth, would be nothing
Your michievious style and grace
Spills out from your face
Your thick cloud of hair
Rests on your shoulders with pride
Your scarf floats in the wind like a cloud
Your arms are filled with moonlight
moonlight of beauty
If I were to say this splendour
Cannot be found anywhere and never will be
This compliment, in truth, would be nothing
It’s your generosity
That’s led to this story
Now our paths are the same
Where you are, there I’ll be
If I were to say, my soulmate
That you’re a nymph from heaven, a fairy
This compliment, in truth, would be nothing
Having found you, I feel I’ve lost myself
Even if I could, I wouldn’t know what to say
There are no words in any language
That I can use to describe you
If I were to say that a beauty like you
Cannot be found in the whole world
This compliment, in truth, would be nothing

THIS SONG MELTS MY HEART

Bday

2008-02-20T01:20:00.002+08:00

And it came to my knowledge that my birthday is next Saturday 1st March...

Wow time flies huh..

Aniwaes i am kinda wanting a few things and i do have short of cash...sheesh..lappie being spoil n all..ohwells..here's my list of wants..haha *hint hint*

1)PSP(mahal i noe..)
2)Digi Cam
3)A new Fone?or just simply a new memory card(MiniSD)
4)New nike street soccer shoe...Silver colour mcm Cristiano Ronaldo one found at queenstown or queensway
5)Nike Tops
6)Craving for steak..Haliim bilerr?haha

Yea basically i want all that..Ex?tell me abt it..hahaha

Nah i'll be contented even if my frens rmbr my bdae esp those close ones:)

The Dream

2008-02-13T22:34:00.002+08:00

I was sitting at my usual place in ITAS..at the back..with the usual people..ITAS was packed cos its the usual 12-2pm slot.i was with haliim,luqman,farid,alia,sarah and fauzi..happily chatting away having the normal good laugh till suddenly i stopped.

I felt something in me..My heart beats faster..

The back door of ITAS opens...All eyes were on that door as it opens..It was a gurl..I didnt turn..Could it be her?Wad was she doing at tp?Questions questions questions...

Farid:Eh hot kepe tu pompuan?sekkkk siaaa
Fauzi:A'ah siaaa..Fan, ko tengok ah(realising tat i wasnt looking)

I slowly turned my head..My heart told me its her..I turned...

YES it was her!i froze..I turned back..I look at haliim n he sensed something..

Haliim:Fan..Apehal kau?
Irfan:(shakes head)
Haliim:Bilang larr
Irfan:Tu Roszana lar siolll...

Haliim stared at me..The rest all went..'Saper?' hoping that i will repeat the name..i didnt..Haliim looked at me and looked at that gurl..Look at me again..

Haliim:Conferm per?

I nodded..

Roszana sat three tables away from me but from my angle i could see her clearly..She was sitting on the round table in ITAS..wif her bestie..

I stood up..

Haliim:Fan,rilek ah fan..

I ignored..

The rest look bewildered..Hoping to get a gist of wad was going on..Only haliim knew what's happening..only him..Looking at haliim, the rest demanded for an answer..Haliim juz kept quiet looking at me..

I walked towards her not caring the consequences...

I pulled her away..Out of ITAS...she was surprised but didnt make any intentions of pulling away..it was like she knew wad was coming..

OUTSIDE..
Irfan:Why?Why zana?why?
Zana:Why wad...
Irfan:Oh c'mon dun act dumb wif me..why?wad did i do?
Zana:Nothing..Absolutely nothing
Irfan:Then whyy?
(held her hand)After all we went thru together..why?
Zana:Its not u..its me..I wanted tiz to end..I dun wan u to tink dat im using u as a punching bag to pour my emotions.
Irfan:Have i ever told u to stop?haf i ever sae aniting abt nt liking wad ur doing?nooo...we're buddies..n dats wad im doing..

(pauses)
I look inside..The peeps were staring at us...

Zana:No..but...
Irfan:But what zana?what?all those promises....mere words?
Zana:im sorrie..i haf to..u take care...forget me...

Zana opened the door..

And dats when i awake cos my bedroom door was opened by my mum...sheesh...

I miss u buddie...Wadever i've done unintentionally or knowingly..im sorrie...You take care too...

END

Darls n Frens

2008-02-07T23:47:00.000+08:00

This says it all..
Im Lucky..
Love you all :)

TRIBUTE

2008-02-06T01:17:00.000+08:00

A tribute to the 2 bestest and dearest people to me...My two didis..

Always there, never fading
Henna Didi

Young forever, Sweet as ever
Diya Didi

I LOVE YOU TWO..
Cant Imagine it without You Two
Best Siblings Forever! :D

PS: Something else to share...

Diya Didi With her Two kids
Cute keperr..haha
My unbiological 'nephews'..

END

2008-01-30T02:16:00.000+08:00

Time check now is 2.16am...
Fooh still alive i am..nyhahah...

Just finish SAS project i think..

Yasmine Amyra aka Cikgu Bedah
You're sorely missed.
*cry cry*
PS: I think that's my specs lar oiii..

Okay yea..the end

100 peratus number 100

2008-01-25T21:49:00.000+08:00

100 peratus number 100

POST NO. 100!

(A Century Kepe!)

Pic of us

And here we are..a pic of us..heh...me n meri jaan, Yasmine Amyra.
What timing too..Post number 100..hehe
So today was a gd day..yeahh..wake up early just to meet janu..JANU U MADE ME WAIT BAWAH BLOCK FOR LIKE 30MINS!hahah
ok so yea juz chill2..talk2..snap pic..of all nie paling lawa..biaser jgak..my fone..haha!i love my fone..tk sampai hati nk tukar..it snap beautiful pics larr..of mayb its cos im a gd photographer..nyahahah...oh well..:P

so gi skola..one lesson jer..den fulamakk..meet farid kepeee....hahaha...
yeap..so ikot dier gi amek aida..hahah..kecohness..yada yada yada..

n suhail funnie..haha

alia:Susu guess wad!aku jatuh cinta.
Suhail:eh?tkper..bagos2..jgn jatuh tangga sudah!

hahahah!klakar perr..super tk perlu...

another one..
Rahman:kau nak gi aner?
Farid:amek aida..
Rahman:kau?
Irfan:ikot dier ah
Rahman:ikot dier?kau amek saper?
Fauzi:Amek angin kot!

hahahha!!

ok da!

outz!

Post Number 99

2008-01-23T18:57:00.000+08:00

POST NUMBER 99

Okay since this is post number 99..one more to a hundred, this may be special..

So today, i only had 2hrs of lectures in which i didnt attend the first hour thanx to Heider. Hah ohwell he saved me from a boring SAS lecture. Heck okay today will be a long day.PROJECTS PROJECTS PROJECTS.

But whats going to make this post special is that for the first time, imma talk abt ma gurl.yeap yeap..haha

I met her tadi. Though only for like 1hr gitu, was nice lar. As it is, we can meet as frequent as most bf/gf will but hey we're gonna cherish n treasure every meeting lar kan cos of that.damn lar tk amek gambar..hahah dier tknk amek ahh cos she in school uni..haha..its okay ah..she kinda look cute in school uni..mcm gegerl..budak baik..Yasmine step jer budak baikk ehhh..*insert evillish laughter*

ok and yea for the ferst time in my life i ate lettuce/salad..erghh..thanx eh jaan..thanx..if i sick..i gigit u..huahuahua...

And jaan..im taller den u lar cann..hahah..4cm aner lah leh nmpk different nyer..u nie ponnnn..

oh heck..im suppose to be doing my BITS project but wad the hell...mendak lar sehhh...
i've done 5 domains i tink..so left wif 5..baik ah i oso haven study for lab test..and haven do use case narrative for SAS...waayyy to go Irfan...you the man..

hahah..

oh jaan..ur sweet *smiles*

k daaa..outz

back to BITS..grrrrr..

Update Pendek Jer

2008-01-20T18:27:00.000+08:00

Okay yerr..banyak orang da suroh aku update nieee..hahah

Aniwaes yea decided to change my layout again..maklum kata haliim ckp lecehh nk view..ahh skrg dat senang kan..

okok..

so just an update..korang tau lar yer kan wad telah happen..so yg tak tau..harap maklum..korang boleh check kat nie blog aper yg telah berlaku..pada mereka yg maseh tak tau..kesiann..pegi lah check mata korang tu yerr

ohh n yah..i got a cut on my left eyebrow thx to soccer..haha..FIERCE DOKK..mcm aru fight gitu..haha...

okay siak uhh aku bbl mcm mat sak kat nie post..oh heckk..hahaha

klar yerr..

nie lah update ku yg sikit nie..

ader report nk kene buat maklumlah yerr..

till then..ciaoz

New Year

2008-01-01T00:28:00.000+08:00

Well well its the new year...

First and foremost..Happy New Year to all..Kiss 2007 away and embrace the new year with a new vigour..

Looking back to 2007,its been quite an eventful year with highlights such as entering TP, leaving sec sch for good..And not to mention making new friends..the main highlight of 2007..

Yeah in this year..i made many new friends..some come and go..some stayed in my heart..stayed..broke it n leave..some..stayed there n dont budge..well this are the group of frens worth having :)

To name a few that i made..Henna Didi(9th january 2007), Roszana Buddie(omg i forgot the date we knew each other..dats sad), Nadirah J,Haliim, Alia, ITAS CLAN basically, Jaja Buddie, Nurwafah, Shalini, Kak Ayesha, Diya didi, Jannah, my Darlings etc2...

All of them are wonderful bunch of ppl that i met this year..They change n made an impact to my life in some ways or another..

AND to Haliim..baik ah member..aku matrep!hahah..NOTT..and looks like NS wants us..lol..nah aniwaes..we werent that close at first..still remember met u ferst at FOC..haha kinda awkward with ya at ferst..especially when i noe u were shrtl's ex..hahah..so yea..i oso dunnoe y..but yea we got close..now yeap..ur one hell of a nice person to lepak with..

okok..so lets see..

2007 has ended..wasnt really on a high note but it was better..those who noe..noe lar ehh..someone finallie replied me..after ages..which made my 07 end not too bad..

so now 2008...a new year..one step close to adulthood n more maturity that comes wif age..and also..one step towards GOD..as i think of it..should i rejoice that a new year has come?what wif the sins that i made over the past years..will i repeat it again tiz yr?will i be better tiz yr?im reachin the legal age yes..but are all those things that's legal under the law..legal under the eyes of Allah?

one more step towards GOD..one more..think about it?are we to really rejoice?

To Muslims..why do we party n all during this New Year and not seek for forgiveness for all the sins we've done over the past yrs..and one more thing..we recall when the new year is..but do we noe when the Islamic new year falls on?do we celebrate it by doa and all?i admit i dont realie recall but i have my mum to remind me..but i shld start rmbring as well..so yea..think..

lets all pray that tiz yr will be a good year in the eyes of GOD as well as having fun at the same time..

Wasallam..

Have you ever?

2007-12-21T01:34:00.000+08:00

Have you ever watched kids

On a merry go round

Or listened to the rain

Slapping on the ground

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night

You better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Do you run through each day

On the fly?

When you ask How are you?

Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done

Do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores

Running through your head?

You'd better slow down

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Ever told your child,

We'll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,

Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,

Let a good friendship die

Cause you never had time

To call and say,'Hi'

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere

You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,

It is like an unopened gift....

Thrown away.

Life is not a race.

Do take it slower

Hear the music

Before the song is over.

2007-12-15T00:50:00.000+08:00

"This I Promise You"

Ohh ohh...

When the visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and lies
I'll be your strength,
I'll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call,
Was standing here all along..

And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you

I've loved you forever,
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never...
Will you hurt anymore
I give you my word
I give you my heart (give you my heart)
This is a battle we've won
And with this vow,
Forever has now begun...

Just close your eyes (close your eyes)
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you..
This I promise you..

Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)
When I hear you call
Without you in my life baby
I just wouldn't be living at all...

And I will take (I will take you in my arms)
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong (right where you belong)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you baby

Just close your eyes
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Every word I say is true
This I promise you

Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Ooh, I promise you...

*TO YOU AND ONLY YOU*

You know who you are..

2007-12-07T19:59:00.000+08:00

Someone said that i'll never be alone..
Someone said i'll not be left..
Someone said that she loves me(not love love but platonic love)..
Someone said many things..

Yet now..

What's left of it?

Etching that someone's name in my heart back then..Now it cant be erased..What's left now is only a deep scar in the heart..Too deep..

I hate you..but you still mean alot to me..
I love you..u are all for me..
To lose...

Hurt...

2007-11-30T19:55:00.000+08:00

GOOD NEWS: LAPPIE IS OKAY NOW..YESSUH

BAD NEWS: ALL MY 5GB SONGS ARE ALL GONE..SOB SOB..

oh juz an update jerr...went shopping todae..buy more n more chocolates..geez..hahaha

ohwell..

tata

2007-11-18T22:07:00.000+08:00

Ok back again here penning down my thoughts...

Lappie is still an ass..Blardy viruses and all..

ANiwaes much thing has happened all this while..Just that i didnt wish to blog about it..so yea i kinda decide to pen/type my thoughts here.

NAD APPEAL GOT ACCEPTED LAR SIAA..yes it happened on monday..but heck imma wwrite it still..so yeahh will be seeing much of her nowadaes..yeahh

PENTAS:RAHSIA was a blast.trust me it was fantabulous..i thoroughly enjoyed myself despite all the staying back till late nites for rehearsals and all..gettin myself sickk...but worth it..fun..ppl enjoyed the show..was happie wif the response..

kudos to all that made it happen..

UNDESCRIBABLE EMOTIONS LINGER..yeah dats my pm for a long time at msn..only zana have asked me abt it..that too i didnt tell her whats the meaning behind that..
im keeping a whole lot of thing to myself tiz days..yes even frm you zana..even from didi..i dont want them to worry abt me..they have their own problems to deal with..let them be happie..it'll be better for them..writing this down...not hoping that they'll read it..but i noe they will...hmm..contemplating on this..ok..imma write..

I HATE LIFE..EVERY SINGLE BIT OF IT..LOVE IS PART OF LIFE AND I HATE IT AS WELL..FAMILY AINT HELPING MUCH..CONSTANT NAGGING..EVEN WHEN IM NOT DOIN ANYTING AT ALL..

yes i've always said dat life is not all bed of roses..if it is..its called heaven..but i tink this is rather too much isnt it?which human in the right sense can take constant emotional pain?

i dunnoe..i've lost the will to live..but didi n zana is putting life into me..but slowly but surely,one day i'll have enough..and i'll be leaving didi n zana..the life they are putting in me might just not be sufficient...but im appreciating every single moment n time they put aside for me..i realie do..

well i guess thats all..

PS:love hurts..

2007-11-08T22:51:00.000+08:00

An update finally..yes rin n zana has been yelling and bugging me to update so yea..

lappy has grown crazy lately...fark it..

many shits happen..to those hu noe..thx fer being dere..to those hu dont tkyah kpo...

i feel like im realie a flocinaucinihilipilificat-ist...i feel worthless...nth is ever rite...nth..

haishx...shant blabber...

short bt hu cares..i updated..

bye

2007-10-20T20:05:00.000+08:00

Haven really been in the mood to blog this days but i shall today...

This week have been tiring..Jalan raya almost everyday..

Monday with family
Wednesday was with ITAS clan
Thursday was with Devilution Trio plus eddie,adika,jelita and cuzz,shahrul
Friday was wtih trio and eddie

Yea too much pics but haven gotten any of them so yeahh..all outings was fun lah..but the one with ITAS clan was quite saddening at the end..Dun haf to noe y..sighhh...

aniwaes yeah here's a pic of my mummy n daddy if ya'll curious..ahaha..

yeah shall end it now...till thenz

wasallamm

2007-10-15T01:19:00.001+08:00

Rayer this yr have been nothing but boring lar seh..dun ask y..

aniwaes looking forward to 23rd october..PVPS outing together..woots..haha..and im starting school on the 22nd...how nice..nampak gaya...cabot skola ah tuesday..haha..

here's a pic of me on ferst day..yeah just one..haha..wasnt in the camwhore mood..nah amek korang..

so how do i look?haha

Randomness

2007-10-12T02:19:00.000+08:00

Your efforts to try,
makes my heart Cry,
without you i will die,
in this world full of lie

love leads to pain,
cruelly driving me insane,
tattered and disdain,
efforts to love you in vain..

no sparks to the flame,
another chance to blame,
im trapped in this game,
that leads me to shame.

im clinging on to a rope,
the pressure I can barely cope
all I see is a downward slope,
once fallen there is no hope

sadly its not over,
there's no where to cover,
this terrible blunder,
alas,call me a crazy lover..

*love make u do aniting*

Salaam-e-Ishq

2007-10-10T14:46:00.000+08:00

A conversation in the movie Salaam-E-Ishq between a couple.The couple used to be happy till tragedy strikes.The girl lost her memory in an accident. She couldnt remember anything but her parents and thus all the times she had with her husband is all lost.Th husband tried every means to make her recall doing everything they used to do but none seem to work.The girl lost faith and ran away.She met with another accident but still survives.The husband was by her side and when she woke up, she told her husband to let her go.This is the conversation.
So touching lar can!

Boy:Listen,Tehzeeb.You are with me.That's more than enough.Come home with me

Girl:I dont wanna go with you.Because i cant bear to see you like this!You say everything will be all right but nothing ever is all right.You're always searching for your memory in my eyes.And when you don't find it, you act as if it's all fine..Perfectly normal..You bring me back my smile and hide your tears.I cant bear to see you suffer like this!I want to see you happy.

Boy:But my happiness is with you, Tehzeeb.

Girl:How can it be!I dont even know you!Im sorry.I tried so hard to recognize you but nothing..reminds me of you.

Boy:I know Tehzeeb..You have forgotten me but if you say your heart have forgotten than that is something i cant believe.Youll remember everything one day.

Girl:And if..if i cant remember?What if i cant remember anything at all?

Boy:We'll create new memories.Memories are of life and without you there's no life.

Girl:What life will you have with me tomorrow?

Boy:Whatever our tomorrow may be, we'll make it beautiful together.But if you are not with me,then i have neither today nor tomorrow.Will you give me my tomorrow, Tehzeeb?*kneels down*

Girl:*kneels down**kiss**nod**hug*

Boy:Whatever our tomorrow may be,We'll make it beautiful together.

*Love is what's there at all times.Because love is not about good times but who you spend time with*

Taggie

2007-10-10T01:04:00.000+08:00

Tagged by Aida:

1. What is more difficult:
looking into someone's eyes when telling how you feel,
or looking into someone's eyes when they tell you how they feel?
Erkk..Experience the ferst one b4 and believe me..It is difficult.But a sense of satisfaction after u had.uh huh

2. Think of the last time you were annoyed. Why were you annoyed?
Hrmm..Annoyed because didi was being naughty..grrr

3. You will die in three minutes. Last call?
ohmy..3mins = 3 calls..
Didi,Zana Buddie and Her

4. If you could do anything OR wish anything, what would it be?
I just wanna tell her I LOVE HER with all my heart and i still am..

5. You can have one of the following two things: trust or love?
Trust is just trust.But love involves trust..So i shall take love.

6. You are walking to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss told you if you are late one more time you're fired. Do you save the dog or not?
Ermm no no..I have phobia with dogs..Was chased by one when i was small..haha

7. Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?
Erk dun remind me..Those were the days..haha blackmailed my fren turned enemy hu is now my fren again..

8. Think of the last person who you know who died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give one year of your life. Would you do it?
Alamak..hu eh?i cant rmrbr hu..bt if someone hu means alot to me died..i will definitely gif dat 1hr to him/her..it makes a whole lot different

9. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
Ask my didi or buddie bcos i dun judge myself

10. Does sex=love?
Nope!Love leads to sex bt sex does not lead to love.Sex is just a pleasurable desire of man/woman that they want to be fulfilled.

11. Are you old fashioned?
Err in between maybe?i dun mind mummy or daddy match making me with some indian or pakistani gurl.heh..

12. Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex?
ohmy..alamak..Well i tink i will..Love is beyond all this matter..Pleasurable desires are short-lived..Once ur old, u wont have them.Love is forever.And as for kids.There's alwaes adoption! :D

13. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?
To tell that i love them

14. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up?
My love for her

15. Romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them?
err..12th august?and i still love her..

16. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, if you HAD to, even if you have "no regrets" what would you change?
I will look into her eyes and say i love her again and ask if she's willing to be mine.But i dun regret not asking her de 2nd part..Cos i noe dat i lurve her and love doesnt nid to be reciprocated

17. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?
Didi..

18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying?
Apparently i dont noe how?

19. You are holding onto your grandmother's dying hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other which one would it be?
I will save a newborn baby..Im sure my grandmother will understand..she haf lived her life..has her share of happiness and sorrows.its time a newborn baby see the world :)

20. When and how was the last time you told someone how you REALLY feel?
Just..Told didi how much she meant to me :)

21. Do you tell anyone or everyone you are going to die?
Im just gna lay low abt it.Prolly i'll tell my didi n buddie abt it..No one else..Not even her..

22. What do you do with your remaining days?
I shant say i'll live life to the fullest cos dat will take me nowhere in the afterlife..Most prolly repent all my sins and seek fer forgiveness

23. Would you be afraid?
I will esp when Angel of Death comes knocking to take my life away..

Tag 5!
1)Syaz
2)Shirin
3)Henna
4)Jannah
5)Zana

PICTCHASSS

2007-10-05T23:27:00.000+08:00

Pictchassss...haha..

LEt the Pics do the talking of the evening with Renate yaw..

so now..agree dat we had a wonderful evening?we took over 60 pics and yeah i cant fit in all..it'll be long..so yeapz..hehe...

To Renate,

Thx again yahh :D

*Live life like there's no tomorrow*

REJECT is the word of the day

2007-10-05T01:05:00.000+08:00

An outing with darling Renate today.

Was a memorable outing. Spent the evening with her.

Met her at cityhall and made our way to donut factory..haha.. yeah she treated me doughnuts..yumzz..

ouh she expected me to be tall and she told me later on that she spent the first 10 minutes after meeting me to compare me in person and in pictures..she say i look tall in pics..hahaha

aniwaes yeah as usual..the queue is super long at that factory thingy..but nvm we wait and wait..then haha the counter lady so funny..pronounce zana's name with that chinese accent..Za-Na!..haha

ok yeah we buka at Macs.and yea we catch up with stuffs.PRIVATE. No ENTRY!

And REJECT is the word of the day aye Renate..

And after buka, she brought me somewhere. And she didnt want to tell me where she's bringing me so it was kinda suspense lar..haha..as i await where i'll end up next..and the answer is..
MARINA SOUTH PIER!

damn that place is nice.. i mean its so quiet and basically it has a nice scenery and the wind is soo wonderful but the fact that it messed up our hair made it kinda irritating..haha..we camwhored there and ate the donuts..then we talk and talk..and we camwhore again..

Finallie, we went home..Send her back to Sengkang and while on the bus ride home alone..I was hopin my phone wouldnt ring cos its 11+pm and the only number that will call is HOME and that will spell trouble..So thankfully it didnt..

Reach home..And here i am.. 1 hour later..haha

PICS WILL BE UPLOADED HERE SOON :)

till then peace out

And Renate thanx fer the lovely evening yaw :D

New Lease of life

2007-10-04T15:43:00.000+08:00

New Template..

New Lease of life for my blog

haha..

Thanx to luqman for inserting the template and adding the links and tagboards..
All done at 3+am..haha

and yeah i spend the whole day editting my blog..hurhur..

Nvm..Im proud of it..

And oh didi..Im nt a noob okay!hahaha:P

2007-10-03T14:09:00.000+08:00

This post is for Henna...My best and greatest didi...

Didi, first of all, i wanna say sorry about last night. Yes u may have forgiven me but i still felt bad about it. And the matter that you forgave me so easily really touched me and make me feel how stupid was i to do such a thing to a caring and loving sister.

You've always been around when i needed you and what i did to you yesterday was rash. I've realised it.

I'll end here by saying you're the best sister one can ever have. Truly. And didi, LOVE YOU LOADS.

PS : 6 more days didi..6 more days..

LAyerszzz

2007-10-03T01:39:00.000+08:00

Been Tagged By: ALIA FADIA AND FARAHYN (YOU FAT!!)

LAYER 1 : On the outside

Name : Irfan Khan Surattee.
Birthdate : 01/03/1990 .. Thats rite yaw
Current Status : Single, available and does anyone wanna mingle?
Eye colour : brown yaww
Hair colour : awfully black..tried to inai my hair but tak menjadi

LAYER 2 : On the inside

Heritage : indian/pakistani/arab/slovakian..cool shit kan?
Fears : God HIMSELF *shivers at the thought of kiamat*
Weaknesses : have a temper that once flared, hard to subdue
My perfect pizza : OMG PIZZA!!!!ANY PIZZA!!

LAYER 3 : Yesterday, today, tomorrow

First thought of waking up : how is she doing?how is didi doing?and how is buddie doing?
Bedtime : 3-4am.. im owl arent i?
Most missed memories : lets see..destroyin old bv?hahah

LAYER 4 : Pick

Pepsi or Coke : i have a rare obsession of mixing it when i have the chance :D
Mcdonalds or Burger King : mcdonalds! burger king ex lar siaa
Single or group dates : umm i prefer single!
Adidas or Nike : nike for soccer..adidas for casual
Tea or Nestea : tea with milk!
Vanilla or chocolate : chocolate with vanilla cream and chocolate sauce!heavenly!
Cappucino or coffee : cappucino pls?

LAYER 5 : Do you?

Smoke : u think?
Curse : i think my previous post tells it all
Take a shower : no! baths!!long ones!! now u noe hu to blame fer global warming..haha
Have a crush : yeahh..currently..not a crush though..i realie do like her..wif all my life can?
Go to school : that's how i noe her..
Believe in yourself : at certain points when buddie needs me..at other times..not realie..

LAYER 6 : Past

Drink alcohol : NO!!!HELL NO!
Gone to the mall : Just now..BUGIS N TM
Been onstage : YEAH LIKE ALOT..A supporter of the arts in primary school..sec school slack bt still got go onstage okay!
Dyed your hair : tried in vain :(

LAYER 7 : Have you ever?

Played a stripping game : if the babes around are hot..i would..but sadly no..
Change who you were to fit in : NO..no one in the world is like ourselves..right buddie?

LAYER 8 : Are you hoping...

To get married : YEAHH..oh im married..TO DIYA MIRZA..hehe..

LAYER 9 : In a girl ...

Best eye colour :green!big eyes!haha with long eye lashes! saw one dat day at geylang..not green eyes though..damn her parents was there!haha..
Best hair colour :black with shades of brown
Long hair or short hair : long! jannah shld noe tiz cos i kinda got angry when she cut her hair short!hahah

LAYER 10 : What were you doing ...

A minute ago : chattin with jannah and merajok-ing with didi
An hour ago : err looking at tiz eewww email
A month ago : alia sae gg on adventure wif s.a.f.i.l.e.s...yea i miss that moments.. but i think she noes wad i did a month ago..on 12th august :)
A year ago : freaking o's!

LAYER 11 : Finish the sentences ...

I love : HER!yes i do!
I hate : when she do her mia thing..
I hide : most of my feelings frm my frens except those who're close
I miss : HER!
I need : HER!

LAYER 12 : Tag 5 ...

1)JANNAH!!better do!
2)SYAZ
3)Shirin!(now u got two tags to do!)
4)shall i sae that anonymous person?hahahah! nahh! err saee ELFIE!
5)Aniq!

PISSED

2007-10-01T17:40:00.000+08:00

Fuck lar..Fucking pissed rite now..Yea yea im fasting..But who gives a fuck..

C'mon just accept the fact that im me..Accept that!Stop fucking comparing me..

Nagging nagging..wad the fuck..Am i a stone dat u can yack yack all the way n doesnt hurt me?SAe wad?i dun help lar..all lar..wad the fucking hell...so tell me who issit hu owaes help?wad my spirit issit?my fucking twin?yea i wished i had one..so he can get all those fucking blames..helloooo am i de oni one in the house...dont i haf a brother or a younger brother...why am i de oni fucking one dat get nagged at or forced to do work?

wad reason u gave...oh my brother is alwaes not at home..blahblah..my adek is still young..fuckk..is 9 yr old young??i fucking started helping out n going to kedai at the age of 6 larrrr!!6 dammit!!and u sae 9 is young..wad the fucckkk..blardy manja him sooo much..

need to fetch him lar all that lar..hellooo i go home by myself since 7 okay...yea u like comparing so much...compare this lar..fuckz..

everyting all i haf to do..all i haf to do..see my face nag...wad the fuckk larr...stay at home get pushed around..go out kena scold..wadd funfair ah?funfair oso must pay lar!

anotha thing that pisses me off..my aunt..keeps comparing me n those dudes over the other side..yea so wad if dey help out..they got how many ppl down dere..all are at 'the age of able to help out'...n im the only fucking one down here..n i dun even get de credits..u rarely come here and u want to compare..ehh go fly kite larr...wadever i do all never see..wad i never do all see..fucking irritating larrr!!

and here i am getting nag again fer spending too much time on the computer...fuck lar..if im nt here..wad m i to do?i cant go out..u expect me to do housework 24/7 issit??im nt a fuckin robot..

argh pissed!

FUCKERs

A song from Dil Hai Tumhara

2007-10-01T00:37:00.000+08:00

A nice song..Check out the meaning of every line...

Ma Dream Gal

2007-09-30T03:00:00.000+08:00

TAGGED BY IQAH SEKKK..hahahah

post ur view of what wld make u do anytin for a girl? wat is it abt a girl that'd make u feel lyk this? and what type of girl wld she be?

and for girl readers, post ur view of when will u want to give all ur heart to a man. and y? wat must he do in order for u to be able to feel this way? wat abt his actions wld convince u?

and in addition, u ppl wld ve to write ur dream guy/girl. hahaha! take it dat u're being tagged. once u read dis, u're to post ur bid aite?

Well..
Firstly what will make me do aniting for a girl. Well, i guess the answer is kinda simple in my case. When i truly love that girl with all my heart and soul, i doubt there's nothing i wont do for her except crazy stuff like stab people or aniting of that sort. However, it takes two hands to clap so the girl must be willing to trust me and have faith in me so that i'll be able to show how true my love for that girl is till i'll do aniting for her.

Secondly what issit about a girl that makes me feel this way. Well, for me its truly based on her sincerity. The way she treats me doesnt realie matter because love doesnt need to be reciprocated. So that girl must not be a hypocrite and hide her true feelings for me in order to take advantage of my good nature. Perhaps that's my weakness?Falling for hypocritical gals that shows one thing but feels another. I wonder.

Thirdly what kind of girl is she? Well my friends would know that i like gurls that are sweet and innocent looking with those gorgeous eyes..OOOHH..okay back to serious..but the kind of girl who deserve my heart is someone who does in a way understand me cos i dont expect that girl to fully understand me cos i dont understand myself sometimes. I also dont expect the girl to be with me 24/7 and i hope she doesnt too. But i want her to be there when it matters and she should know that i alwaes am. Other than that, its not that important.Oh oh i forgot. She must also respect herself cos by respecting herself, she'll be able to respect others.

Okay i think i've describe my dream girl already yah. Nvm just to summarise and to add on to points i might forget. My dream girl is someone who's sincere, respect herself, be there for me when it matters and someone who in a way understands me. Looks is an added bonus that is surplus to the requirement but hey that girl must have all the basics okay!hahah. And if im able to achieve that added bonus, i'll be looking at the eyes that can make me melt anitime and that sweet, innocent look.

One good example..DIYA MIRZA..heh..thats just a dream yo!

okay i end it here..Happie now iqah?

And ohh..Those who read my blog must do this tag okay!haha..All of YOU!

~The moon is a friend for the lonesome to talk~

8 MILE VIDEOS

2007-09-27T22:03:00.000+08:00

8 MILE FINAL RAP BATTLE

8 MILE 2ND LAST BATTLE

2007-09-25T14:13:00.000+08:00

I FUCKING MISS YOU!

*U LEFT ME SENSELESS, U LEFT ME BREATHLESS*

Movie MArathon

2007-09-22T00:01:00.000+08:00

Here's an update for my dear Renate, Roszana..haha

Well i haven been doing much lately. Perhaps something to fill u guys in is that i haven been slping since wednesdae..nyahahah..n yesterdae i oni had a nap of 1 hr after sahur/subuh.

WAD THE HELL HAVE I BEEN DOING u may ask..

Okay so here's what i've done..

Chats with renate n didi as usual. Helping didi promote her new business, Henna Art(apparently her name is henna as well..coincidence?perhaps)

And oh movie marathon of course!hahah..i think i've watch over 14 movies already. Namely:
1)The Condemned
2)1408
3)Disturbia
4)Transformers yet again
5)Red Line
6)Blood Diamond
7)X-men 3(yes again)
8)28wks later
and many more..

Current movie im watchin is The Messengers..I just started to i'll rate it once i finish with it..

so yea dats all for an update..

P.S: Happie now renate?haha

*the colours of life is fading away*