-editted-

One word..AWKWARD

Yes im feeling this awkward feeling even towards those im close with. Realie entirely different when u feel the awkwardness with those you're close with than the awkwardness with those you're not. You expected to be all yourself, high, nonsensical but sadly you're toned down, quiet and just hearing things out.

To lil rin, yeah i noe im at fault for blowing at you that time but hey you know me. I did ask for forgiveness. And tonite your chatting with me like im some stranger answering me with a word or just direct to the point. Where is the real you? This is so not you.

And it is even awkward for me to contact a certain someone. I don't know but I have a feeling at times i bug or irritate her with my sms or calls. God knows how i reached to this point which im not sure myself.

And yea basically like what i told nad.. Im tired of going through the same shit over and over and not move on from it. Its the same process over and over again with a small difference. I realie wana get through that phase and move on to another. I don't want new ones. Realie. Im through with that. Just one. Just this one. I wanna give it my all.

Im sure my blog is in a haphazard manner with thoughts not in order. I just wanna let it go. Let it out and all. Not to a person then maybe here.

To be the best you gotta go out and beat the best. Its all me and it always has been. I gotta keep myself in control of matters starting with this awkwardness.

Tomorrow shall be a better day.



I HOPE..